Thanks for getting back to me.
While I can understand that yes, there are ways of showing love that you find more interesting, I equally understand that your husband may not. The very fact that you have asked your question indicates that you are open to trying to improve the physical side of your relationship means that really, you are half way there already.
It has been said with good cause that the most important sexual organ in your body is your brain! Here indeed, I think you will find the answers you need.
Try, for a moment, to put yourself in your husband's shoes. Up until a few months ago,he probably felt quite comfortable about your sex life, now all of a sudden he is getting signals that are telling him you are not interested. He must be puzzled, baffled - and indeed frightened.
So think back to when it was alright. What has changed? Can you put back something that was missing?
Ask him what he would really, really like in a sexual way - and so long as you don't find it hurtful or demeaning, try uyour best to give it to him. You might find you find his pleasure infectious.
Tell him too what you might like i and show him as well.
I’m going to suggest that you would benefit greatly from a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is a form of therapy that addresses problems in a direct and targeted way and is brief compared with most other therapies.
CBT is based on the fact that what we think in any given situation generates beliefs about, and reactions to that situation, and also cause the behaviour and feelings which flow from those beliefs and reactions.
These ‘automatic thoughts’ are so fast that generally, we are unaware that we have even had them. We call them ANTS (automatic negative thoughts) for short.
If the pattern of thinking we use, or our beliefs about our situation are even slightly distorted, the resulting emotions and actions that flow from them can be extremely negative and unhelpful. The object of CBT is to identify these ‘automatic thoughts’ then to re-adjust our thoughts and beliefs so that they are entirely realistic and correspond to the realities of our lives, and that therefore, the resulting emotions, feelings and actions we have will be more useful and helpful.
Cognitive therapists do not usually interpret or seek for unconscious motivations but bring cognitions and beliefs into the current focus of attention and through guided discovery encourage clients to gently re-evaluate their thinking.
Therapy is not seen as something “done to” the client. CBT is not about trying to prove a client wrong and the therapist right, or getting into unhelpful debates. Through collaboration, questioning and re-evaluating their views, clients come to see for themselves that there are alternatives and that they can change.
Clients try things out in between therapy sessions, putting what has been learned into practice, learning how therapy translates into real life improvement.
Please visit this website for much more detailed information on CBT:
My very best wishes,