Hi and welcome,
It sounds to me as though you let things build up (unconsciously?) and then need to release it. If you have the personality that is viewed as funny, caring, outgoing and nice you have a lot of pressure on you to be viewed that way, even when you aren't "in it" 100%. Perhaps your cycles start after your outburst, things are back to normal and over time (approximately one month, possibly connected to you menstrual cycle) little things get "stuffed" and you may not even realize it and hormones fluctuate and boom you blow! So what I would suggest it that you keep notes on your mood and anxiety
every day for a month. Simply done, use a scale of say 1-10, 1 being no anxiety, all is good and go up to 10 where you are ready to explode. 2/3 a little anxious, 7/8 a lot bothering you. Use this and see if it could be hormonally related. If so, then you may want to try taking some magnesium supplements to help your body as it prepares for your menses. If it's not then I would suggest you find a cognitive behavioral psychologist to help you recognize what is going on. If it started in college could it have been the stress
of classes? How much stress are you under at work and home? Are you hard on yourself? Are you a person who has to do it all yourself? Too much stress is very dangerous and to get you to a point where you try to kill yourself, you need to explore the root of this behavior. Are you happy, feel trapped, have people trying to control you? You don't have to live like this but you do have to explore. You quit therapy because you didn't find the sessions helpful, why? If you want the help you have to take the action and go get it. Find a psychologist first and have a few sessions, they are different than seeing a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are MD's who look to find the right medication for your condition. Psychologists, CBT as I suggest above will help you change the way you view things and therefore give yo the tools to take action and make the change. I assure you, find the right therapist and you'll learn a lot about yourself and how to manage these outburst.
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