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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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A man is pursuing my wife to continue an affair. Can I

Customer Question

A man is pursuing my wife to continue an affair. Can I prevent this legally to protect my self and family (children)? We all reside in Missouri. He is also currently married and has filed for divorce.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anne_C replied 7 years ago.

I am sorry, but there is no longer a right to sue someone for alienation of affection, which is what you are describing this man doing.

However, if your wife does not want to have contact with this man and he will not leave her alone, she can ask for a restraining order to require him to leave her alone. If he is harassing you or your family, you can obtain a restraining order as well.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Not anything more than I already knew with regard to the alienation of affection being abandoned in Missouri in 2003. I know about the TRO/Ex Parte Orders of Protection but don't expect it would fit since my wife is willing to be contacted and he is not yet threatening myself or children directly. I am just not sure my wife is mentally capable of dealing with this situation and its consequences on our family both emotionally and financially. My position is one of being the sole income producer and I am trying to protect her and our children. Just seemed you have no credible solution beyond waiting to see what happens next.
Expert:  Anne_C replied 7 years ago.

Respectfully, ***** *****'t any way for me to know what you do or do not know about the law in any situation unless you tell me in your post - and you didn't tell me the information you already had. Also, you need to know that I did not recommend "waiting to see what happens next". I reviewed all of the posts on this question, and I don't see that anyplace.

Given your description of your wife's mental difficulties, I think your question belongs in a different JustAnswer section. I am going to "Opt Out" and ask for the question to be recategorized.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.

I've never used this advice process before. I get the problem with you not knowing my knowledge but I incorrectly expected some basic knowledge from simple Google searching would be expected. I find the offending person's actions are threatening my wellbeing, but don't really know what I can do about it yet. Hopefully there is some way for me, a husband, to put a stop to this before it gets too damaging to ones family and finances.

Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi Stuart. I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are having with your wife. I'm afraid you aren't going to much like the answer from "mental health" either. You say your wife isn't mentally capable of dealing with this situation and determining the consequences. That may very well be true but, unfortunately, there is nothing you can about it. You wife is an adult and is legally free to pursue another relationship if that's what she desires. I know that doesn't help you, but that's the reality.

That said, I would suggest you make an appointment with a marriage therapist for you and your wife so you can talk about what is going on in your relationship. Perhaps exploring this through therapy will help your relationship, and will also give you a place to present your concerns to your wife about this situation. If your concerns are valid, then the therapist should be able to try to get your wife to see your perspective. If not, then perhaps you can get some assistance on how to end your relationship with minimal damage to your children.

Aside from that, I don't see any way for you to put a stop to this situation. There is clearly a reason your wife is open to someone else's attention. So I would suggest you put your energy into trying to figure that out and looking at how to fix it.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara