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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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I've been in a relationship for about 7 yrs with a guy who

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I've been in a relationship for about 7 yrs with a guy who wants to be nothing more than just a f**k buddy. I hate it, but I can't seem to get him out of my system. I really fell hard for him but he doesn't return the feelings but he keeps coming back and I keep letting him. Any advice on how to get rid of him for good??
Hi bekkalynn. That certainly is a hard position to be in. I am assuming that you keep letting him back in because you are hoping at some level that he will someday realize how great you are and will return the feelings you have for him. It's not going to happen! You need to evaluate why you are willing to let yourself be used in that way, and decide not to do it anymore. Likely you want him because he doesn't want you - women tend to have this problem. He doesn't value you, so you need to value yourself. Put your energy into finding someone who wants to be with you. As long as you are tied up in this type of "relationship" you won't be open to anything else.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamar
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you for your answer. I do appreciate the fact that you said right out that "it's not going to happen" because yes, I guess that is what I've been hoping for all along. As far as putting my energy into finding someone else, I've been doing that. All other relationships have failed, but not because of this "relationship." One guy told me after 4 months of dating that he was a transexual, and becoming a woman. And it's true, he now lives as a woman... One was just a jerk who showed up for a date with me, with another date. And I'm not sure what happened with the other one, he just stopped calling. And I never was in contact with the other guy while dating someone else, but whenever one failed, I would go running back. I guess maybe I thought that's all I was worth, since these guys didn't want me. I'm hurting and deciding not to is much easier than actually doing it.
Hi again. Hang in there, and keep thinking positively. It takes time to find the right person - so don't give up. It does hurt, but don't hurt yourself more by going back to this relationship that isn't good for you. There are a lot of men who aren't worth your time. But keep looking. Good luck. Tamara
Tamara and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you so much for your time. I am not sure that I can stop by just telling myself I need to, but I do know that I have to. I will try to remember what you said about not hurting myself. I just hope it kicks in when I need it too. I will keep looking, because I know that I was not meant to spend the rest of my life alone.
Good for you!