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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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I have told my husband he is verbally abusing me, and I will

Resolved Question:

I have told my husband he is verbally abusing me, and I will not take it anymore. This month, I have recorded 4 times/instances that he has referred to me as a F------ B----, or B----, or to quit my bi---ing. He orders me around, and complains that our house is dirty. I work full time, as does he. We have four children. To make a long story short, this has been going on forever. He is "great" in the public, and not so great at home. I am so confused about whether or not to stay or leave. I don't know the research on effects on the kids. It is getting to the point that I think it is worse for the children to keep hearing this. I feel trapped, alone, and basically I can't talk to anyone about it because no one will believe me. He tells me he is not abusive. If I would just...blah blah blah, or if I would just do this or that...blah blah blah. It is the same pattern, over and over. I am established professionally and well known in the community, and this really is crazy-making.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.


Verbal abuse can and is often more damaging than physical abuse. You are correct-you cannot hide it from the children and the damage that it does is extremely toxic. If you believe that there is something there that could be salvaged, I would certainly give it a last attempt. If there was no apparent chance for resolution, I would consider a separation. If you do decide to part the means that you use has a huge impact on the children. It is important to keep the boundaries strictly enforced. There are parent things; family things; and children things and they should be kept separated. Best wishes and good luck. Remember to respect yourself and not allow yourself to be abused.


Ralph LMHC

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