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Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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Recently I confronted myself of always lying, even in things

Customer Question

Recently I confronted myself of always lying, even in things that dont matter. It has really effected my relationships with those around me. After my confrontation i have set my mind to fixing this problem that i have. But i dont know where to start and maybe seeking some guidance.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 7 years ago.
Hi mclovin. Good for you for deciding that this is a problem you need to deal with. It definitely will cause problems in your relationships, but it will also leave you feeling bad about yourself, which can lead to other problems. I would suggest to get really honest with yourself and figure out why you lie in the first place. Do you enjoy deceiving people? Are you afraid to tell people the truth because you are afraid of their reaction? Are you committing yourself to things you don't want to do and then lying to get out of it? Are you trying to make yourself look better? There can be many reasons for lying - you need to figure out why you do it and then work on that issue.

I would also suggest you write down all the lies you have told that are bothering you, including who you lied to and why and what was the result, both in reality and in terms of how you felt. You will learn a lot about yourself in this process.

These ideas should give you plenty to work with. If you find you are still having difficulty with lying after these explorations, then I would suggest you work with a therapist to help you deal with this.

Bet wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara