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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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A teamplayer I always find myself doing all the work, being

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A teamplayer I always find myself doing all the work, being ostracized, talked about and often I'm the last to know anything at work. I'm in my late 50s and too old for this kind of thing. Can someone give me some insight as to what I'm dealing with? Help me understand how to lose the attached feeling but always alone.
Honestly, you sound like my wife. She is super-nice, competent, and taken advantage of.
My advice:
  1. Continue to do your job professionally.
  2. Realize these may not really be nice people you want to be with.
  3. Set limits-do your share and refuse to be dumped on. Obviously other people don't take on everything and still work ther.
  4. Rely on family and friends outside work for socially feeling good.
  5. Lunch with FRIENDS, not co-workers.
Ultimately, you need you get paid to work/be there, not have friends. It sucks, but if you don't expect more, it is easier to live without it. Put your emotional energy into people that care about you back. You don't get paid enough to be treated like crap.

Here is article she wrote recently.
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