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Ask Dr. Ed Wilfong Your Own Question
Dr. Ed Wilfong
Dr. Ed Wilfong, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1528
Experience:  Twenty-five years treating all ages; Specialities: psychopharmacology & diagnosis, MMPI-2, testing.
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I have a 34yr old girlfriend of 1yr but known for several.

Customer Question

I have a 34yr old girlfriend of 1yr but known for several. She has had several signs of Bi-polar; and hearing from a friend with mild Bi-Polar that I am certain that she has this disorder. Her increasing leveled mood swings from day to day have got me down. She has stated to me in the past that she has taken medication; but not sure as for what. I need some advice on how to approach her and let her know without hurting her feelings or our relationship
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 7 years ago.
First, tell he specifically what you are seeing that concerns you. Let her know you are concerned about her welfare. Do not mention bi-polar unless she does. Lots of people have a few signs but no real illness. Be compassionate, concerned and offer to go with her or other wise get it checked out. I hope you being concerned would not make her mad or hurt her feelings.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
but how do i bring it up i dont wanna piss her off. shes already about to break it off well every other hour.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 7 years ago.
I'll get tou in am
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Ok. So I am very clear as to the issue of needing to bring it up to her about my concerns and what Im seeing. But how do I bring it up to her about her total mood swings and attitude changes from day to day and sometimes second to second. She doesnt see anything and sais theres nothing wrong. I WANT to help her; but I cant seem to talk with her long enough without her getting upset at me. She sais shes never doing anything wrong; but then its Im so sorry for how I acted right after that.
Expert:  Dr. Ed Wilfong replied 7 years ago.
Sorry for the delay. Really tired. There is no way to be sure she will take it well. You can focus on your concern for her without being critical. Plan B is for you to help you with your stress by going to counseling with you. You may need to point out very minor examples at first. In many cases, this type of anger is HURT in disguise. You may try asking "how did I hurt you feelings" or some way of acknowledging she is hurt, not really angry.
These are just ideas. It is hard w/out knowing her.
In the big picture, if she doesn't want to get better, is this how you want the rest of your life to be??? This is unlikely to get better without some help and it sounds like you get the the brunt of the consequences. I hope you can work it out, but if she doesn't want to, you may have a tough decision to make.
If you want to follow up after you talk, just put my name at beginning of question. I know there is little I can to, but hopefully I can offer some advice.