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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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My roommate in college has been acting weird lately. We are

Customer Question

My roommate in college has been acting weird lately. We are best friends, and have been for the past year. We roomed together last year as freshmen, but are now in a suite with 4 other girls, who are all good friends of ours. Brittany, my roommate has been hanging out with some of the other girls more than with me these past couple weeks. Also, our conversations have not been like what they used to be. She used to be very into our conversations, and now it is more like a one-sided conversation. Things that have been kind of important have not even been brought up, like the fact that she is going on a trip with one of our other suitemates to both of their houses. I am a little upset that I did not get invited, but the true reason I am upset is that I did not know about this trip (that is happening this weekend) until she was telling her mom about it. Shouldn't this have come up in conversation at some point? Am I crazy to think something is wrong?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

Has anythng noticeable chanhed in your relationship?

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
She has just distanced quite a bit. We don't talk as much anymore. When we are in the room together, I try to start conversations, which would usually get her talking, but she does not really reply. She will give one or two word answers. Nothing has changed in either one of us, or at least I don't think so. She has just slowly drifted away.
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.

Hello,

What you decribe is a distancing in a former relation that used to be close and now appears somewhat distance. Do I infer that there is something starnge and the answer is no. Relations in late adolescence and early twenties can be some what tenuos changing without observable causes. That is what appears to have happened here where your friend seems to have distanced you. The causes are unknown. They may ranged from an unknown unintentional slight to just a change of interest. But in nothing you described is there any indication of pathology. If you wish to possibly find out the cause (of course you risk possible rejection) is simply ask her and state that you have observed a change in your relation and that it had meant a lot to you or just let it pass. Of course, it is a two sided street/ Your friend had a responsibility to tell you about her change in feelings were she to deeply care. I am sorry to say that it just appears that "she has dropped you". You may consider that it is her loss. I hope that this is clear and not too disturbing,

Sincerely,

Ralph LMHC

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