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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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Help! I feel like throwing up my hands & saying I give up,

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Help! I feel like throwing up my hands & saying I give up, but I can't. It's my grandson. He's 13 years old. tested IQ is 69. He's a high risk sexual predator. NO empathy! Tried to kill his father by choking him. Only the police prevented it. He's is a hospital in New Jersey now. The $1000 psych report said he had 15 out of 25 criteria for predator & the Dr. feels he has a lot more problems. The Dr. states he has to be placed out of the state of New Jersey because they don't have a facility either willing to or that can take him in. The judge has agreed he needs to be placed oudt of state. We live in N. Carolina & we're moving our son down here. We have been trying to get our grandson placed here, but no-one will take him. The last one, The Keys of Carolina, said because of his IQ, his extreme agressivness & the fact he has a bad history with female counslers they declined him...
He needs a level 4 facility & close so we can see him & he doesn't feel thrown away. Please somebody help!
Hi Granny,

Was you grandson sexually abused, and is now predatory, or is this separate from that?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
first his mother took codine & other pills trying to abort him. my son found out & stopped her from continueing. she sexually molested & mentally abused him for the 1st 5 years of his life. she also abused my son. he developed a brain tumor from her hitting his head against the floor. he's on disability now. my grandson was terrorized by her & watched her cut herself for years. she ended up in Gray Stone Psych hospital for several years. she killed herself this past march 20th. my sons birthday.

Hi Granny,

Wow...what a sad story.

You're most likely to find a placement for him in a center that treats children who've been sexually abused, as many of them in turn molest other children, so this is a normal part of those programs.

As far as treating sexual predators, I went to a lecture by Dr. Gene Abel on this subject, and his center in Atlanta should be able to give you a referral.

It will be very hard to place your grandson, which is very sad. I commend you for reaching out for help.

Granny....I didn't put this link in my prior post..sorry

It is a well known treatment center for sexual abuse victims and resource center that can also give you good referrals.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you for the name of another place to get a referal. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid he'll feel we just left him there all alone if he's not close to us. He didn't ask for any of this... What do states think families are going to do if there's no place for kids like him? They don't want them on the streets, in the schools, but they don't provide for them either. Someone needs to speak for these children. They are children not disposable things...

Thank you,


I agree with you 100%. This poor child is a victim and is now set up to repeat what he's learned. There are places for him, but they're hard to find and often filled. You have to get into the network by talking to the people currently involved in face to face treatment to get on the inside.

A university hospital can also be a good source. I think Duke has done some research on the topic. It will take awhile, but keep at it - he needs you to.

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