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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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I got involved with a married man. Only found out that he was

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I got involved with a married man. Only found out that he was married when i was hopeleddly in love with him. I tried to stop the relationship but he assures me that he is on the pont of getting a divorse. He says his marriage was over a long time ago. I feel like a bad woman. I am getting harassed now by his wife and family. I had to even change my phone number. I really didn't want to cause any harm to anyone. I feel absolute used and now also abused. I feel sick the whole time and don't even want to go out anymore. How could i be so stupid? How do i get this man to leave me alone? Yes i have a broken heart, but will find a way to cope with it. Any suggestions that can help me?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.


First you are not a bad woman to be sure, you became involved in a relation based on deception from the other party. You cannot blame yourself for being naive which you were, not evil. So many people have used the excuse "the marriage is over" to start extramarital affairs and you were not aware when you entered into the relation Yes you were used and if there is evil it belongs to him, not to you the victim. You may stop feeling so powerless by taking a more assertive approach and tell him to cease contact and if he does not you will either file harassment charges or obtain an order of protection. I would suggest a brief course of psychotherapy to rebuild your ego strength and lessen the depression. If the pain and suffering is too great your therapist will suggest a psychiatric evaluation for the possible use of antidepressant medication. Again you are not evil, did nothing wrong and will eventually come out of this stronger and wiser. Best Wishes and Good Luck.



Ralph LMHC


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