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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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I have had a volatile relationship with a semi psycopath

Resolved Question:

i have had a volatile relationship with a semi psycopath individual in the last 9 months. I have tried to end it but he bounces back and his charm and our chemistry has brought us back. In the last 2 weeks I have denied to see him and he has caused me so much grief, I have had a virus in many forms for 4 weeks, from acute repeated tonsolites to body aches and now severe asthma symptoms... I guess I just need some advice, what is the best way to get rid of a psycopath? I am a little scared of his reactions. He is very verballly abusive, threats, insults, every time I say no. Can you help me?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 7 years ago.
Good Morning,
You are in a difficult situation. No one should be abused by another person. You have pin pointed that the man in question always finds a way to get back with you.
An abusive, controlling and manipulative man will try to do whatever he can to control the other person. It may be some pretend charm initially but an abuse tends to remain an abuser.
What is needed in such situations is for you to remain firm and not back up on your intent. Let someone close to you know of your concern and this man's behaviors.
Even though you may not feel the police is the answer, restraint order is an option. Man that disregard women may need to be told by the law authorities what is the behavior they ought to exhibit.
If a person does not have consciousness or their own desire to do what is right, at least fear of punishment may be what they will try to avoid.
Dr. Rossi and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I guess avoiding him at all costs is the only way out? He is very intelligent, part of the reason why I was attracted in the first place. He is not scared of the law. I didn't want to put another avo because in the end I had to sit in court with him and he behaved so lovely and didn't trespass the orders while it was active. He is always turning everything I say against me and ends up trying to convince me that I am the problem, is that what they usually do? He has had an abusive looser of a father who always tried to make him feel insignificant. He is adamant that I am the only one for him and his favorite and that just scares the crap out of me now. Thanks anyway.
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 7 years ago.
controlling individuals will try to manipulate/controll others since they lack self control. Having had an abusive father should not be his excuse. Many people are abused yet, they learn how to be better individuals from their experience.
You are correct that intelligence/charm are all desirable qualities, but when abuse comes into question and control, you've got to watch out for number one- you.
Such individuals I regret to be the bearer of bad news - do not change. They will try to do anything to keep others under their control. Control and disrespect are not love.
You would want to be very clear to him why you have decided what you have decided and remain realistic in your expectations that whatever you do or say will not change this person. As far as fear from the law- even individuals like the one you're describing, do not want to get consequented. That is another blow to their ego.