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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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I need help. Almost everyone I love in my life has been

Resolved Question:

I need help. Almost everyone I love in my life has been victimized in someway. My grandmother was raped and molested by her father. My mother was sexually assaulted by several boys when she was fourteen. My sister was abused by her boyfriend, my little sister was molested by another kid in the neighborhood(who was probably being molested herself) when she was young. My best friend was date raped and my partner was raped on more than one occasion by her boyfriend who was also extremely emotionally abusive and who also looks at child porn. I'm angry all the time about these things. I need help letting go. I need to get rid of the anger that consumes at the fact that the man who hurt the woman I love hasn't seen any justice, anger at the fact that he has many friends and family and other loved ones who would never think he would do anything. How do I get rid of this anger and fear that he'll hurt someone else and I'll be responsible?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 7 years ago.


It is truly tragic that you have had so many associates who have been traumatized at the hands of others. And in many cases the criminal suffered no consequences for their dastardly behavior. Part of the maturation process is that there is a significant lack of equity in the world.. We constanly tell our children that although unfortunate, the "world is not fair" and justice is a limited commodity.Being angry all of the time is extremely draining and does not get you anywhere. What is sometimes helpful is to join a community such as Woman Against Rape. See: . It may be helpful to start psychotherapy so that you can rid yourself of this energy robbing rage. You cannot assume responsibility for the acts of others only yourself. You have done all you can with empathy, understanding and even going to the authorities. I wish you the best of luck and good wishes. To recap, I suggest that you begin psychotherapy to give up some of the rage and sense of responsibility and that you join the community of people (e.g. Woman Against Rape) to discuss with like minded individuals the frustration and channel your energies into what is practical.


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