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NGonzalez, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 56
Experience:  15 yrs of clinical experience, relationship issues, marriage & family therapy, eating disorders
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Psychopath Sociopath Question I am dealing with a Sociopath

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Psychopath Sociopath Question
I am dealing with a Sociopath or Psycopath, so far diagnosed as Narcissistic tendancies by a court appointed Psychologist. He is my ex, divorced 5 years. His crimes are tax evasion, theft of money, conning but no convictions.
I am pursuing him for child support. He pursues me via courts me child access, mostly based upon half truths. He has already initiated 2 attempts to use my 15 year old to hide money.
My questions are 2 fold - what are the implications for my 3 children age 7 9 and 15 with this father. And how do you advise I protect them, how much access to this man becomes emotionally harmful?
2. I have a sense he is out to inflict as much emotional damage as he can - his father and sister both died, his sister held him responsible - she lost her life savings to him. Does a sociopsychopath intend to destroy? how can I protect myself ? how can I stop being this mans target? S

Thank you for your question and for contacting Just Answer. I’m sorry you are facing this very difficult situation. Unfortunately, when you have children with a sociopath, expect to be hassled. However, there are a couple of things you can do to minimize the effect and frequency of being hassled. As you children grow and mature which will result in changes in contact with their father the frequency of the hassle may also change.

Sociopathic parents can vary widely in how they express their sociopathic traits. In general, sociopaths are defined as having no empathy. They're driven only by their own needs wants and desires. Often they get a thrill out of the pain they inflict by the cons they pull off.

Every family situation is different. But if yours includes a sociopath, here are some things to keep in mind.

Many sociopaths appear to be outwardly respectable, and are therefore able to convince family courts that they should continue to have parental rights. Courts seem especially reluctant to accept that a parent may be a sociopath and is damaging to the child. Although it can be very expensive, if possible, seek expert legal representation that includes an expert mental health witness that will demonstrate the potential damage to your children if your ex-husband has unsupervised contact with your children or in extreme situations any contact. Sociopathic parents can be highly manipulative toward children to use them as a way of getting back at you. The level of damage can vary from neglect to emotional, physical or sexual abuse (worse case). A qualified mental health professional, specialized in custody evaluations and expert knowledge of sociopathic parenting is your best tool to determine if your children are, or to what degree, in danger. Hiring the correct person is essential for the courts to understand the severity of the potential danger of contact or unsupervised contact.

For your own mental health, maintain “no contact” rule as best you can. Exchange the bare minimum of information about the child with your ex—preferably by e-mail. If you must deliver or pick up a child for visitation, have someone with you or ring the doorbell and then wait in the car. The sociopath will try to undermine and hurt you through the children. He will find a way to bait you so he can be harmful. The less contact you have, the better and less opportunity to take his bait.

Some other tips to consider…Never let the sociopath into your home for any reason. Do not give your ex any information about your life. Document everything that happens.

Again, I’m sorry you have to go through this at all. However, keep in mind that he will do whatever it take to wear you down which means you must persevere despite how manipulative he gets. I wish you and your family the very best. Good luck.
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