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Gina P
Gina P, LCSW
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 175
Experience:  MSW, LCSW, PIP
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I feel no emotions except for the extremes of them. I am detached

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I feel no emotions except for the extremes of them. I am detached and fake it most of the time. I also have no love life in the slightest because I can not conect with people on a deep level. I think maybe this stems from the fact that from the time I was about sixteen I was expected to be the strong on that allways took care of things. Expressing what I felt was neither wanted or really allowed. After a few years, the emotions just seemed to go away.

I do not feel suicidal in the slightest, or have really ever even though about it.

I also feel sick to my stomach a lot, as though every feeling I really have is trying to force it's way out. I just can't seem to let it.

Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Gina P replied 7 years ago.
Hi, What you are describing is problems with emotional intimacy. This is difficulty connecting with people because you are not well connected with yourself. You have stifled your emotions so long that they are forced out when you become unable to stifle them, thus the extremes, and probably a lot of anger. Anger hides a lot of other feelings and is more socially acceptable than say, crying in public. You have worn the mask of looking all together a long time and it is catching up with you.

Emotional intimacy involves knowing yourself well, acceptance of yourself with the good, bad and ugly, and sharing this with others. It also requires humanness, not feeling obligated to always be together, but to express emotions as they come in an appropriate manner.

These issues are not difficult to correct, and certainly a therapist can assist you, so please do that. You can also start learning about your feelings by writing down any time you feel an overwhelming emotion. Go backwards and really evaluate it and see what the precipitating events and thoughts were prior to the feeling. You may have to go way back to discover these. If it is an angry feeling, see if you can identify what other feelings the anger may be disguising. Is it sadness, rejection, humility, shame? Most people have patterns of anger associated with very specific patterns of other feelings, which are usually fairly easy to identify.

You must get the juices flowing with your feelings. Daily journal writing helps you keep a consistent journal of emotions. It will help you see patterns also. Don't be concerned if you just see thooughts for awhile when you are writing. You have conditioned your brain to think rather than feel.

I hope you will continue to work toward becoming a fully healthy person. We are multifaceted human beings and deserve for all of our parts to shine. I hope this helps. Gina
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