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My best friend has been on and off with a guy for 5 years.

Customer Question
He gives other girls more...
My best friend has been on and off with a guy for 5 years. He gives other girls more attention than he gives her and I'm pretty sure he only goes back to her when he's lonely and wants something. He dumps her every couple months and ignores her for a couple months then comes back in the picture. He puts her down and makes her feel stupid, ugly, untalented, and worthless. He tells her none of her friends like her, when in reality we just don't want to be around him. She is completely obsessed with him and makes excuses for him when they get back together but when they break up she tells anyone who will listen how horrible he treats her. She has a daughter from a previous relationship that suffers because of all this back and forth and her mom's mood swings. What is there I can d
Submitted: 8 years ago.Category: Mental Health
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Answered in 39 minutes by:
9/2/2009
Mental Health Professional: Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist replied 8 years ago
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,690
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified

Hi there ,

Welcome to Just answer !

Well, it is so nice to see that in this materialistic and self centered world , there are still people like you who are so kind and affectionate and concerned about someone else's welfare .

Now , coming back to the problem , well it does seem from your narration that your friend is so smitten and madly in love with this person , that she has lost her self esteem and objectivity , and her priority that is her daughter has taken a back seat .

It is quite suggestive from the behaviour of this man , that he is just using her and exploiting her to the fullest , but , your friend has literally chosen not to see this aspect of his , for reasons she knows best.

So, as a friend , the most you can do is that you can counsel her on a one to one basis , and enlighten her and ,make her aware of her priorities and her important role of a mother and rearing a child to a secure future , which as of now , seems to be moving towards a dark zone . You can also ask her to do some introspection about her acts and do self analysis , and come out with an honest result about her behaviour in the recent past . I am sure you must have done this a many times , without any success , so there is no harm in asking her to do this a last time, for your sake .

Along with this, ask her to go to a relationship expert along with her boyfriend ,to achieve a stable relationship between the two , i am sure she will be more than willing to take a plunge into this therapy , and will be able to convince her boyfriend also to accompany her , and once she does this , it will act as an eye opener for your friend , as at the end of the therapy , one of the two things she will realize , that are , first , that both of them do not have a future together , so it is better that they part ways , and second, if they decide to stick together , then how to overcome such fickle separations on and off and consolidate the relationship.

So, in either ways , there will be a result which will benefit your friend and her daughter , so just convince her to seek counseling / therapy with her boyfriend from a good relationship expert , and your work will be done .

I hope this helps..

I wish you all the best , and keep up the good work that you are doing .. God bless..

Please press the ACCEPT button if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Regards...

Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4,690
Experience: MD Psychiatry
Verified
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