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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4658
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My Mother, husband, daughter, and I went on vacation. My

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My Mother, husband, daughter, and I went on vacation. My Mother invited my husband to come to her room after my daughter and I went to sleep. This is not the 1st time. This happened about 8 yrs ago. It was very difficult to forgive her , but I did, considering she is my only family and she tried to kill herself after the fact. I dont know my father. My Mother is absolutely alone. I dont want her to try to kill herself again, but this is MY FAMILY she is trying to destroy. I absolutley cannot understand it. We always had a wonderful relationship before. She had me at a young age...15. We grew up together more like sisters I guess. I dont know if she did this so that I would be lonley and miserable like her or what. She wont stop calling me and begging me not to shut her out, but I dont want anything to do with her ever again. I cannot trust her. I would expect this from a girlfriend, but my MOM. What would you do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.

Hi there ,

Welcome to Just answer !

Well, this is a very serious situation , and i feel ver sorry for you , as you must have got devastated by such a situation , but just keep yourself well collected emotionally as you need to take a firm stand now and also take some important decisions in order to maintain the sanctity , harmony and respect wthin your family .

It seems quite obvious that your mother who has been living without any male partner for most of her life , at times must be feeling lonely and in desperate need of male company , and it is in such moments that she had become vulnerable and her desperate needs had the better of her , and she gave in to the temptation , and carried out such an embarrassing and despicable act . However , having said that , although her acts of such outrageous and despicable nature cannot be condoned , but , you also know that she is the only family that you ever had , and since she probably is suffering from depression and emotional unstability , so it is advisable that before you think on terms of getting her placed away from your family , you need to try and help her to solve her psychological and emotional issues .

So, i suggest that first you confront her directly without being loud and aggressive , but being firm and polite , and make her realize that what she did was definitely embarrassing , but tell her that you understand that she has been going through a phase where she needs companionship , and probably her temptation got the better of her , but anyhow, it is time for her to mend her ways , and resurrect the damage she has done to her image , by seeking Psychotherapy ( counseling ) from a clinical psychologist , who besides starting her on counseling / psychotherapy types such as Cognitive behavioural therapy ( CBT)and behavioural therapy , would also , assess her for Depressive disorder .

So, my genuine advise to you is that in this rare situation as yours , you have to behave as a mature and understanding person , probably there is a role switch over between you and your mother , over here you have to act as an elder and guide her to the path of dignity and normalcy , and help her redeem her lost image .

So,kindly confront her and convince her to seek professional help from a clinical psychologist , and get her issues sorted by going through the above mentioned therapies. However , if she is not amenable to your request and still is willing to repeat what she did before , then i believe in order to save your family from falling apart , it is very important that you ask her to find a different place to live , as such kind of acts have a very bad influence over kids ,besides devastating and damaging the very essence of the relationship between a mother and daughter.

I hope this helps..

I wish you all the best..

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Dr. Kaushik and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you for you time.
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.

Your welcome .. Please feel free to contact for any further assistance ..