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Ralph LMHC
Ralph LMHC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 872
Experience:  20+ years as therapist, supervisor, clinic director at mental health, substance abuse treatment ctrs
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I moved to another country to marry and live with my husband

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I moved to another country to marry and live with my husband with whom I have been in a long distance relationship. I got pregnant right away and we have had some very verbally agressive fights in which I end up by crying and wanting to leave. I had several short term jobs back home and am unemployed here. My husband says he wants no contact with me if I move back to my country and will no send support for the child if I leave. I don't believe in abortion or divorce unless there is physical abuse or infidelity. He hit me a few times when I was 1 mth pregnant but since then hasn't hit. Now he just yells at me and says I'm not capable of doing anything right. What should I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 8 years ago.
I am a licensed mental health counselor and a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists See Profile). With your permission, I would like to address your question.
Ralph LMHC
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you. I would like to hear your reply.

Expert:  Ralph LMHC replied 8 years ago.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having. It is very difficult to carry a child without a support system of friends and relatives , let alonw without the baby's father. I am not a lawyer, but he cannot dictate the terms of his assistance regarding paternity. That is decided through negotiation or in court. So in either event, the first thing that I would advise is to seek legal counsel. You stated that you do not believe in divorce unless there has been physical abuse. Well striking you in the first trimester when the embryo is most at risk is certainly physical abuse, and the verbal attacks certainly constitute psychological abuse. There are programs to assist women who are pregnant and have experienced domestic violence, and were I you I would contact it aski for help for an individual in your situation-it is 1-800-LIFENET. You can also conduct a Google search for assistance to battered pregnant women. So my advice is to obtain legal counsel and help for yourself as a battered pregnant woman. The one thing I would not do is to return to this individual who struck you and allow him the opportunity to hurt you and your unborn child. So you do have options. After getting legal advice, you may choose to return to your country of origin, but you may chose to have your child born in the United States as there are many benefits that result from US citizenship.
Best wishes and good luck!
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