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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4672
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My 50 year old daughter is going through a crisis. About 2

Customer Question

My 50 year old daughter is going through a crisis. About 2 years ago her longtime partner had an affair with another woman and she ended her relationship with him. Since that time she has been depressed and is on Effexor XR 150mg and has tried several times to wean off it without success. She does not see a mental health expert, but her family doctor, with whom she has a good rapport. She no longer appears depressed but seems very angry, and seems to be withdrawing more and more into herself. She is barely able to hold down her job, her home is a filthy mess, she has gained weight, and has alienated most of her family including her children. I've tried to help her but she informs me that she does not want my help, but then later begs for it. I worry she will harm herself or wind up on the street as a "bag lady".

What can I do/not do to help?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Hi there ,

Welcome to Just answer !

Well, i can understand how tough it must be for you to see your daughter to struggle within herself like this , but let me clarify one thing here , and that is your judgment about she not being depressed at the moment is not right , provided that she is suffering from all these things which you have described above such as feeling low mood , social withdrawl , lack of self care and negligence towards one's duties as a mother and a bread earner, inability to feel pleasure in previously pleasurable activities , inabiliy to concentrate , focus in day to day activities and work, and feeling of hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness, and thoughts about self harm , all these features are characteristic features of Major depressive disorder , which she has gone into , although being on effexor , possibly not responding to the drug.

I am mentioning below a link which will throw more light on Major depressive disorder.

Now as far as solution to her present symptoms and state of mind is concerned, i will suggest that she needs to be consulted to a Psychiatrist , as a psychiatrist knows best about the depressive disorders and also knows which drugs to switch over to , if one drug is not having an effect , unlike a physician to whom she is consulting right now , whic has a limited knowledge about psyhiatry. This condition of hers shall not be ta***** *****ghtly as depressed patients are very likely to commit acts of self harm and suicide , and so you make sure that you keep a vigil on her till she is consulted to a psychiatrist , just to ensure that she does not do something bad to herself.

Also , kindly discuss the drugs to the psychiatrist which she can be switched over to as effexor is not being effective . These anti depressants are a combination of Paxil or prozac or zoloft( any 1 out of these 3 ssri anti depressants ) and Trazodone ( atypical anti depressant). Also, to these 2 anti depressnats , 1 anti anxiety drug such as either Klonopin or ativan or buspar shall be added . She needs to be maintained on these 3 drugs for atleast 6 months or so , and i am quite sure that she will recover from he depression. So, just discuss this with the psychiatrist as he is going to select from the above mentioned optons and also decide on the dose and time of intake of the chosen anti depressants and anti anxiety drug.

So, i suggest that you make her consult a psychiatrist and discuss the above mentioned drugs and get her started on it.

I hope this helps..

I wish your daughte rapid recovery to the ebst of health. God bless.

Please press the ACCEPT button if you are satisfied with the answer as only then will i be credited for my service.

Dr. Kaushik and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you. I guess what I meant about her condition, is that anger seems to have replaced sadness. I understand now, that this anger is just another representation of her depression. Also, I understand the need for a psychiatrist, but getting her to accept one is another matter. She sees needing help as being "crazy" and weak. Is there anything I could say or do to convince her of this need?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Sorry, but I hit the wrong button and "accepted" when I was asking yet another question. I do hope that you can continue to communicate with me as this issue is so important.
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Well, yes you got it right , depression has varied presentations in different people . Well, the best way to convince her to seek help of a psychiatrist is to ask her Family doctor , with whom she shares a good rapport and trust , to talk to her about this and convince her to meet a psychiatrist . Since , as you have told earlier that she values that doctor's opinion , so i am quite sure that she is going to follow his advise to visit a psychiatrist , at least once , and 1 visit with a good psychiatrist shall change her outlook about her illness completely..

I hope this helps..

Dr. Kaushik and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
I will contact her doctor and mention to her the symptoms here and our conversation. It just didn't occur to me to talk to dr., such an obvious and simple solution.

Thank you so much for your advice. You make me feel better too, just knowing that there is something I can do.
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Your welcome.