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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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my daughter who is 32 years old is one minute the nicest person

Resolved Question:

my daughter who is 32 years old is one minute the nicest person you would wish to know,the flip of a coin she turns into a very angry vicious person. Ever relationship she provokes the partner into a violent person by constantly provoking them with verbal abuse until they flip their lid,hit her smash everything in sight. She has a 7 year old daughter who sees all thisT he police are allways at her door.The latest boyfriend cut his wrists in front of the children. I am at my wits end.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Is your daughter on any medication? Has she been treated for this problem? How long has this gone on?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
She is a staff nurse in theatre and is very respected. It is her home life which is completely outragous. She has been like this since the age of 11 approx. It is the fact that she can hold done a very responsible job and then come home an be a complete different person.
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Hmmm...something is surely amiss. If she can control herself when she wants to, then she may have something like a personality disorder or even hidden drug abuse issues.

I'm going to put some links here for you to read and see if any strike a chord with you. But to be sure, is your question what is wrong with her? If not, please let me know what you wish to know. You may just want to know what you can do in support of yourself.

Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
Hey Maria,
I just realized that I missed the whole issue with the children witnessing the violence, and this is a big problem. Children who witness violence and abuse are damaged by it - the least of which is having their innocence lost. One of the things you can do is to request that Children's Services look into the safety of the children.

When the children are around you, you can talk to them about what they saw (if they're willing to talk: listen) and just talk to them in short bursts to let them know it isn't normal. Some examples are:
"That had to be scary last night."
"Your mother's feelings hurt her sometimes and she yells and gets mad - it isn't your fault."
They hear what you say no matter what their outward reaction is. This is not to say disparage their mother to them, but to simply address the situation as if it's speakable.
Anna and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Expert:  Anna replied 7 years ago.
I don't know enough to really discern what her condition is, but my two best guesses (and this is a stretch)with what you've said so far would be borderline or intermittent explosive disorder.
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Thank you for your help.