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Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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Hi, I have a question. My husband got burned pretty bad on

Customer Question

Hi, I have a question. My husband got burned pretty bad on his hand (2nd deg) on Fri. It didn't bother me until yesterday. I am havin trouble accepting the fact that he does not want me to go to his treatments. We have been distant and this has made me realize that I really do love him. We have been married 10 yrs. My question is this- I know that the best thing I can do to show I care is to respect his decision. However, his not wanting me to be there or need any help has me near panic mode and I am just making him angry, which is not what I want and just makes me feel ashamed and more like a terrible person. I would like an opinion on why this anxiety is so severe that it is very hard to drop the subject and ive him peace without me having so much distress. Possible reasons I think contribute- i am an nurse and itis hard not to help. i am switching from Lexapro to pristiq and may be emotional from that. Tried 1mg xanax that usualy helps, still feel panicked about it.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 8 years ago.

I think you've hit this nail on the proverbial head-- and these are the two issues that are making you feel so emotional or unstable - your meds aren't stable yet and this injury is right up your alley!


Whenever we switch our meds, we get emotionally of of whack - there is nothing you can do until it stabilizes -- but realize that your feelings are, in part, really legitimate, even if you aren't behaving in a way you want. Give it time... and try hard to jsu let it go, knowing that this is a med issue.


But I also want to validate that if my spouse developed a mental illness and didn't want my advice or my help - I'd be a bit nutty over it myself ... afterall, this is YOUR training - your area of expertise in life... so part of your thoughts and feelings ARE completely legit!


You are going to feel more stable everydday - keep occupied if your talking about it bothers him- you don't want this time of med instability to cause real problems - so read, play on the internet, chat with friends, and email me here if you are jus crawling out of your skin!


Nancy :-)

Nancy and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thanks Nancy. Surprised to see you cause you were offline when I first posted. Will try to keep occupied and will talk about my issues with meds way after he is feeling better.


that is what my therapist said,but it is nice to talk when I want to know something right now (hope he wouldn't be offended although i will never tell)!


One question- my last question for you in may pops up saying waiting for reply and accept even though when I click on it,it says accepted and money came out of my bank? just curious. Kathy

Expert:  Nancy replied 8 years ago.

He wouldn't be offended. One of the things we want as therapists is to see our patients become more sure of their self-sufficiency. Just like you - you have patients - but are happy to see them get better and move on. You want to be there when they need you - but also feel happy for them when they move on - right?


I wish I could answer your last question - but I have no idea how that side of the site works... I only get to see questions and answers! I can't see anythin financial unless it is on my page. I am sorry - but you can always email JustAnswer and ask them. Sorry! I wish I could help with that :-)


FEEL BETTER! And email back anytime! If I am not on right then, I will get your email as soon as I sign on.


Let me know if there is anything else you need :-)



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