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Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4658
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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My 7 year old son, has told my wife he thinks he is a girl

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My 7 year old son, has told my wife he thinks he is a girl trapped in a boys body. I have spoken to his Mother and says he has said the same to same to her, and she knows about his feminine behaviour, however she does not want to seek proffessional help and says we must not interfere with what his is meant to be. I now feel that I have to help him by myself, and know that as his father I have to provide love and guidance no matter what, but understand that it is not natural to have these feminine tendencies. I can see this affecting his school life, he is struggling to keep up, is easliy distracted and he has no friends. He is unhappy at school already, and I can see this is going to get worse, as everyone see's him as different. I have seen this feminine behaviour over the years and have tried to distract him with boy related activities, but he is not interested. I do not know what to do, please help..
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

I can understand that feminine behaviour of your son must have been a hard pill to swallow for you as a father , but i would suggest that before drawing any conclusions about your son's sexuality , it will be better that you first get him evaluated for Personality disorder , as there are certain types of personality such as dependent personality in which the child becomes too much dependent on a parent and starts aping him/ her , probably in case of your son it is his mothe that he migght be aping as suspected by you previously . But , no formal assessment of his personality type was carried out previously . ALSO, i must tell you that age between 6-10 years is the age where children start exploring their sexual orientation and they carry out different expeimentations on themselves whihc may put across the wrong impression, so one possibility cn be that your son is just exploring his sexuality and may be he is trying to ape females , as they may be intriguing him .

So, i will suggest that you first get him evaluated by a Child Psychlogist for his personality type , and this will give us a diagnosis to dwell upon , and i would like you to prepare yourself for the outcome that you fear right now , and that is your son being a gay.

I know it has been a very emotional and testing time for you as a parent and this wil take some more time to come to terms with if after assessment your son is ruled out of any personality disorder and is considered to be gay , but let me tell you that in our present times , gays are very well accepted and recieved in the society and the stigma associated is on a fast decline.Also, after all , he is your flesh and blood , this fact is the absolute truth , that does not and should not change after any outcome , no matter how hard the oucome may be to digest. So, irrespective of the resul of assessment , romise your self that you will be the same loving and caring father that you always have been.

But , having said that first go ahead with an evaluation of your son by a child psychologist and be patient for the outcome.

I wish you all the best . Take care

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