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Shana Parsons
Shana Parsons, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience:  Masters Degree, 8 mos shy of PHD and a license to practice in TX (in process of full licensure)
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I think I have borderline personality disorder and would like

Customer Question

I think I have borderline personality disorder and would like to be tested for this. How do I go about this? I am desperate as I am ruining my life. I am in the UK
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 8 years ago.
Hi and welcome to just answer,

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
What would you like to know?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Sorry, i thought that this was an interactive 'chat', hence last message. I didn't mean to sound so abrupt.
I just seem to 'fit' the description of Borderline PD. I have a long history of unstable relationships, I don't cope well when relationships end. I have had many sexual partners almost all wothout protection. I ran up huge debts that ended with me having to sell my house to pay some of them off, I still owe £20k+.
I have lost many jobs through my inability to keep my emotions under control. I fall out with friends a lot and this causes unpleasantness in the workplace. I am in danger now of losing another job. I am frightened.
I feel down a lot, but don't feel depressed. In the past I have made attempts on life. I have extremely low self-esteem.
I ended up in court 3 years ago as I spiralled out of control following the break-up of a relationship. I was so messed up I drove my car into my ex-boyfriend's house.
Most of my relatioships have become very intense very quickly. But then I start to feel as though I am being 'messed around' and when I have these suspicions, I go to great lengths to find out. When I am proved right in my assumptions, I will do anything to stop them from leaving me.
I become angry for no reason at all. I am struggling to cope. I have been to see a nurse this morning for an assessment and she is still talking depression. I feel there is more to it than this. I don't feel depressed at the moment, just extremely concerned about my inability to stay calm. I am prone to over reaction, I just really want to get to the bottom of it so that I can start some therapy that will help me and not juust be fobbed off with more antidepressants.
Expert:  Shana Parsons replied 8 years ago.
There is no real "test" for borderline personality disorder as I know it.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a term used to describe a pattern of behaviors (some of which you identify in yourself).
Borderline personality then,, cannot be "cured" in the traditional sense, only managed better since it is part of your personality.
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is the traditional course of treatment in the United States, but be careful about labeling yourself with this diagnosis or even in believing you have this diagnosis.
Many experts think that this diagnosis just pathologizes women and behavior that women are frequently socialized into.
I have heard other experts talk about BOrderline Personality Disorder as simply being a name for people who experienced trauma earlier in their lives and also experienced failures in their support network (meaning that you had something traumatic happen, and did not get the support or help you needed at the time- thus the borderline pattern develops out of your attempts to get support, maintain support, etc.)
There is a lot of controversy surrounding this diagnosis. I encourage you to find a therapist who is able to either help you work through your initial trauma before you jump to diagnosing yourself.
It is easy to put people into categories without first seeing them and hearing all of their story.
I believe there is more to you than just "borderline".
Give yourself the benefit of the doubt and just go talk to a good therapist before you label yourself.
Hope this helps
Shana Parsons, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 13
Experience: Masters Degree, 8 mos shy of PHD and a license to practice in TX (in process of full licensure)
Shana Parsons and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Thank you for your response.
I am aware of the 'dangers' of reading too much on the net and of 'labelling' oneself without having a professional diagnosis.
I have been under the care of mental health services several times over my adult life and always feel that I am being treated without anyone telling me what exactly is wrong with me. I always feel so in the dark and that perhaps things are being overlooked. I don't know how these things work in mental health. I am a healthcare professional myself and I know that I always go to great lengths to explain to my patients what is going to happen and the expected results. This never seems to happen in mental health. I just feel that if someone were to tell me what it is that is wrong, then I can accept this and start to put it behind me. It is frustrating that I never get told.
I guess I feel lost in some way.
Many thanks again, your reply has been of some help as now I know that there is no 'test' as such.

Expert:  Shana Parsons replied 8 years ago.
Well, you are right that people need to know about their own health and the results.
I think you should just consider what YOU think is wrong and forget what other people are not telling you.
THere are personality tests out there, but not one specifically for Borderline that i am aware of.
I"m curious how identifying yourself as either borderline or not would be helpful to you.
Again, there is a lot of stigma regarding this diagnosis among mental health professionals. That could be why no one is being straight with you.
Good luck to you thought.
I hope you find someone who can be straight and give you the help you seek!