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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4673
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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I have depression over a recent stressful marriage. I have

Customer Question

Hi Doctor, I have depression over a recent stressful marriage. I have suicidal tendencies too. My wife cannot bear to live with me without her mother. She needed her mother's protection. She repeatedly rejects sexual intimcy. I am badly paralysed emotionally by the situation. I fear losing her. Please advise. She is not able to cut off the apron string from her mother. She refuse to live independently with me outside.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Hi there,

Welcome to Just answer !

I can understand that you are emotionally drained and hurt , because of such an unexpected traumatic situation in your life , but first of all i will like to request you to refrain yourself from taking any hasty decision ,and stop thinking about self harm. You are indeed suffering from Major depressive disorder ( MDD ) , as you are harboring suicidal thoughts which are characteristic of MDD, and this warrants immediate attention by a professional.

So, i will request you to consult a psychiatrist , and discuss with him the treatment regime that i am mentioning below and get started on it.

1) 1 Anti depressant such as Venlafaxine extended release capsule or Paroxetine or Sertraline. Any one of the mentioned three is to be chosen and to be started , discuss the dose and time of intake of the chosen drug with your doctor.

2) 1 Mood stabilizer such as Valproate or divalproax , in low dose is to be added to anti depressant , this will prevent suicidal ideas / thoughts from entering in your mind , and also will prevent mood fluctuations .

So, i summarize the drugs that you need to be started on 1 Anti depressant and 1 mood stabilizer , the doses and time of intake needed to be decided by your psychiatrist.

Now , as far as your wife's strange behaviour is concerned , which is putting strains on your marriage , and pushing it to a dark corner , i feel that you and your wife need to consult a marriage counselor , if she does not want to attend the counseling session with you, then , you both can meet the counselor individually also, but it will be better if both of you attend the counseling session together . And , it seems like your wife is too much dependent on her mother and i think she may be having dependent personality , but her assessment for dependent personality type by a psychologist shall be left for later , as right now you need to save your marriage , so first and foremost get an appointment with a marriage counselor and get started on it . And simultaneously , you shall consult a psychiatrist and get started on the regime mentioned above.

I wish that your depression gets treated soon , and your married life comes back on track and your wife starts giving you your due importance ,love and care . All the best!

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