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Dr Wu
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Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Board certified in family medicine.
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My partner believes that I have lied to him. I have not lied

Resolved Question:

My partner believes that I have lied to him. I have not lied to him and there is no history of me lying to him. His last partner had an affair and I wonder if this is why he believe I am lying. He hates cigarette smoking and I used to smoke casually. When we had been seeing each other for a short while he told me that if I ever smoked a cigarette again we would be over. The choice for me was easy and I kept my word. He found cigarette butts at my house which were a friends and he now says that I have lied. The cigarette butts were my friends and I never moved them because I felt that there was nothing for me to worry about because they were not mine. I have always been honest. What do I do?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr Wu replied 8 years ago.

Hi Paul Heather,

Thank you for submitting your question. It sounds like your partner has problem trusting others because of his past.

If he refuses to believe you, perhaps your friends can explain things to him. Another alternative is taking a home nicotine urine test to prove to him that you have not smoked. You should know that secondhand smoking can sometimes cause false positive results. However, there are test strips that actually show levels of nicotine and can distinguish between first hand and second hand smoking.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My friends have spoken to him but he believes that they are lying to protect me becaue he says that is what my friends would do. Even my 13 year old son told him that I have not smoked as he was home the evening my friend came over. My sons would definitely know if I had been smoking because we live in the same house.
Expert:  Dr Wu replied 8 years ago.

It is unfortunate that your partner refuses to believe your friends and your son. He certainly has issues with trusting others.

If you truly want to prove your innocence, a urine nicotine test may be the only option in this case.

Dr Wu and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you