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Nancy, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  ABD for a PhD in Psychology, Psychotherapist for over 20 years
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As a child I suffered depression and from the age of 9 I

Customer Question

As a child I suffered depression and from the age of 9 I self injued to release my feelings, & I hold over 100 scars of my own doing. That include in my mouth, breasts, arms & legs, I'm not proud of it, but I'm honest about it. As a child I was admitted to a child psy' hosp', there was a female nurse there who rubbed and pinched my bottom, I told a student nurse and the female nurse told us she was leaving 'because of her knees'. But you see I was admitted to the hospital because of the memorys I was having, I can remember my dad having sex with me before the age of 10 onwards, I was given meds, & I said that I'd lied after the relationship I was having with my mum deterorated, the psychiatrist said it was a good job I didn't belive my lies.. Now after an event where my dad force kissed a neighbour the memories are back, I'm having dreams, flash backs, False or not? I don't know, but I've started drinking and cutting myself again.. I need to be free from them, but I don't know how?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Nancy replied 8 years ago.


I am so sorry you are going throught this... but there is help, if it helps for you to know.

The first place you want to start is with a therapist or counselor. Search around to find someone who specializes in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.

PTSD is the ongoing effect of REAL trauma. Nobody develops dreams and flashbacks without having experienced a traumatic event. If nothing had happened, then you wouldn't have this now -- having this is PROOF you were molested. SO stop doubting yourself... it's real.

But you need treatment. This won't go away on it's own. If you can, google "PTSD Psychologist" and then also write in your city and state (or country; I don't know where you are) Call local referral hotlines, call doctors-- do whatever you can to find someone who specializes in this area -- if you can't, let me know I can help too.

FInally, stop cutting and stop drinking. Cutting only hurts you -- you don't need to add to your pain. It doesn't make it all go away -- treatment will. Drinking only makes it worse-- alcohol is a depressant -- you don't need that. You need hope -- and help. SO start looking NOW. And let me know what else I can do. I am here for you.

You be there for you too.


Nancy and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
lt;p>Thank you, ***** ***** those things are going to take alot to stop though, I'm scared that people aren't going to believe me, when half of the time I feel like I'm going crazy myself, or that things are going to go wrong in a major way again, my parents are an active part in our life, and I have 2 older teen daughters and a little boy, if anything is said there I'm worried they'll lose contact with my mum and so will I, infact I know it will happen and I can't take to many risks, my parents have a bond above me, they always have had, and I know it sounds childish, but I need her there... (And though my parents are now divorced they're moving to a new home to build a new future, they didn't even tell me they were moving as a couple, I figured that part out as I'd watched their relationship grow, and said to my mum that she needs to be honest with me, but she didn't tell me incase I wouldn't be happy about it, as the reason for the divorce was due to a second affair that my father had and he ignored us all, and had a very bad attitude, which has quickly turned round since he's been a part of her life again).</p><p>I have fairly recently told my partner and he's been as supportive as he can be, but even then I've started getting anxious about something being said, I'm no less fearful now at 30 and it feels wrong, (I'm in the UK).</p>
Expert:  Nancy replied 8 years ago.

When you are ready -- you will do it. And you can receive treatment without your parents. And Mom can stay in your life. Whatever it is that you want, you can make it happen. You just have to believe that you can effect change in your life. And, you can!

When you are ready, you will do it.