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Ask Dr. Kaushik Your Own Question
Dr. Kaushik
Dr. Kaushik, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4635
Experience:  MD Psychiatry
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I met a girl. Now, I dont know her but she does seems great.

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I met a girl. Now, I don't know her but she does seems great. I'm 95% sure she's honest and good hearted. We're both frusterated and I sought sex with her and figured I could help with her tuition. She was open. Thinking twice, I said I couldn't follow through but I'd still give her some money for posing nude (I do photography work). I felt like a loser. She emailed me back and was sympatheic encouraging, supportive and willing to help, assuring me I was nice, respectful, decent, not a loser. That I deserved a good expereince and swears she is STD free. She's 20, a nursing student and says she's been with 4 guys, 3 virgins, one having prior sex with a virgin. She smart, works with children and as a nursing asst. Despite this, I can't get over my fear. I'm almost thinking I'd only be secure with if seeing test results. I'm almost terrified and thinking maybe I should never have sex again. Am I irrational here? Am I unreasonable? All my experiences have brought only pain or anxiety.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.

Hi there,


Welcome to Just Answer !


Well, i have been able to understand about your situation to some extent , but it will be better , if you can divulge a bit more on your fear , can you please tell me is it the fear of cantacting an STD , that is bearing on your mind , and has mentally incapacitated you , well if that is the case then this is quite natural to happen , and you should wait for the test results , everything is going to be clear from there on, and please do not jump to conlusions and refrain yourself from reading in between the lines.


What you did is quite common , and most of us get ourselves in such situations , where our mind is so full of anxiety and apprehension, that it stops working with reasoning and logic , but , do not take tension, everything will be alright , just be patient and wait for the results .


If your anxiety is too overwhelming , and i suppose it is , then you shall start on Klonopin (clonazepam), to be taken twice a day , morning and evening after meals , this will surely take care of your anxiety about the whole situation, and bring some tranquility and calmness , meanwhile you can wait for your test results and i believe everything will be alright.Just discuss the dose of klonopin with your family doctor.


I wish you best of health and best of luck for your test results.


I hope my answer serves your query according to your satisfaction.



Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Dr. Kaushik,


Thank you for answering. However, I thjnk we might be on the wrong page here. the girl in question and I have not had intercourse and it seems you took it that we had. That's just it, i want to but am afraid. She has assured me she is STD free but does not seem to want to get tested. I'm so torn here becuase I want to believe her, and almost completely do. But something inside of me keeps me from being seure.

Expert:  Dr. Kaushik replied 8 years ago.
Hi there,

        Well , thanks for the clarification , as i got a bit confused about the whole situation , but nonetheless, now i think i understand your dilemma , about whether you should trust her and go ahead with it , or should you try to refrain yourself from getting into it , as i presume your gut feeling says so. I , believe that , on one side you are kind of justified in asking her to get tested, but , others may feel that you are being too demanding , plus , there is always the need to use protection in the form of a condom , which protects oneself from STD's and i fully endorse the use of it.

        Having said that,i wonder why is the female friend of yours is having an apprehension in going for a test , as ,if she can claim to be free from an STD , THEN , why to have an aversion and getting one self checked. Although , i feel that she is trustworthy , but her attitude towars this demand of yours , raises a few doubts , probably she may be feeling that it is frivolous or mere waste of time to go for the test , but , she should realise that if she can comply with your request then what a wonderful time will be in store for you guys.

     So, i suggest you , try to talk to her again , and be casual about the whole situation , but stick to the agenda , and make her realize that getting tested would only help her come out of her apprehension and would pave the way for a beautiful connection between the two of you.

      However, if you give in to the temptation , just make sure to use protection , by using a condom, as i would repeat that it is always better to be safe than to be sorry later.

     I wish you all the best and genuinely hope all your apprehensions and doubts see the end , once for and all , and you have a wonderful relationship with this lady. God bless !

I hope my answer serves your query according to your satisfaction.

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