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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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I am an adult woman with a physical disability, (muscular

Resolved Question:

I am an adult woman with a physical disability, (muscular dystrophy) who was sexually abused by my physical therapist throughout childhood starting at age 3. I have always thought that i turned out pretty normal. recently i saw the movie Bastard out of Carolina and found that i was both repelled and aroused by the scenes that depicted brutal child rape. Is this normal? Why now?I have felt awkward and have been avoiding intimacy with my husband ever since. Can you give me any advice on how to deal with this situation?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 8 years ago.
Hello Juli:

My impression is the trauma of your abuse is having more of an impact on you than you think. To be both repelled and aroused is not as uncommon as you believe. It is a symptom that sometimes surfaces with victims of sexual abuse. Since you were 3 when it started you can understand that your body may have reacted to the activity while your mind had no idea or context in which to place the activity.

As an adult you feel the revulsion that anyone would do such a thing, but you also have memories of your body reacting when you were 3 years old. You are avoiding intimacy with your husband to protect that 3 year old child.

Please find a therapist who has experience in sexual abuse and spend some time talking about this. You will be very happy you did.

Warmest regards,
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