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Lively, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 260
Experience:  Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families
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My mother is 84, is mentally ill, manic depression,bipolar,

Customer Question

my mother is 84, is mentally ill, manic depression,bipolar, scidscophrenic[spelling]had shock treatmts in 80's. been widowed 10 yrs. lived alone, won't ever leave. i was finally in a good relationship till 3 mths. ago.when i moved in with her. because for 6 yrs. she called everyday crying, screming saying she was so lonely. and i took her to her drs, store,& she kept on & on making me feel so quilty i couldn't take it anymore & it totally interferred with my fiance & me,help me i can't take it anymore i want to get out ,now i have no where to go ,she is very abusive to me ,just like when i was a kid .she just kept on&on until she screwed up my life, i can't eat, sleep and i go outside at nite and cry, she scares me . she says the kitten i bought her is evil & flys and attacks her to hurt her and all kind of crazy things, then shes almost normal, then she gets hateful. please help me.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.

This sounds like a very unstable and upsetting situation. I would strongly encourage you to get some professional help for yourself, if not also for your mother. Finding a psychologist to talk to about how to cope with your day to day life with your mother, how to manage your feelings about it, how to find a way out of this situation, and how best to take care of yourself seems like it could benefit you a lot right now. It really sounds like you could use the extra support.

I would also suggest that you try your best to get your mother involved with a psychiatrist as soon as possible. I hear what you're saying about former doctors not being all that helpful and your mother being rude to them, but it really sounds like your mother's illness is taking over and making both her and you miserable. There are doctors and medications that can really help and I would strongly encourage you to try again. You can always take your mother to a local crisis center or emergency room- they will figure out how best to help her from there. That way, it does not become your responsibility to get your mother care.

It is very important that you take care of yourself right now. You have been working so hard to take care of your mother- and this is beyond your control and ability- she really needs a professional- and in the meantime, you have been neglecting yourself. Please get some further support from a psychologist and/or a friend, a family member, a support group, a church, etc.

Lively and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
you are so right my mothers condition has taken me over, but she always been this way. and i've had a lot of misery, i've been divorced, and lost my daughter to a very long battle wiyh cancer, thats why it was so important to start my life over. but as far as her going to psy. it will never happen, she refuses to go, so if i did anything it would have to be the alternative. and oh my, that would be a nitemare. so if i could just figure a way to get out , i'm on disability, that complicates things a little. if you only knew how nice it has been to hear from you, i can't beleive someone actually made se.nce for once.god bless you. i guess i,ll try some of your suggestions, but i really would love to just move on and be happy without getting all wrapped up in my moms illness any longer, its been my whole life, i'm 59 and getting beat down pretty good.well i have a lot of thinking to do. thank you so much dr. lively p.s. hope i can com .with you again
Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.
I'm glad that my response was helpful. Please feel free to ask other questions at any time; I think there's a way to request that I be the one to answer if you'd like to.