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Ask Susan Ivy Your Own Question
Susan Ivy
Susan Ivy, RN, MSN, CNS
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4058
Experience:  MSN Child/Adolescent Psychiatry, w/ Child, Adult &Family Psychotherapy coursework and experience
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I have been experienced childhood abuse including having a

Customer Question

I have been experienced childhood abuse including having a dog forced on me at 10. I suffered bullying and humiliation at school because of my low intellegence. I have had 2 children and 3 abortions. Iam 30 yrs of age and have had numerous sexual relationships. Throughout I have not been able to control my insecurities and have been physically violent.   I had a six year on off relationships with someone who I repeatedly forced to leave, and then wanted him back, which he did i think for the sake of our daughter. I always had other men in between. At an early age I was fostered but I still to this day maintain contact with my mother who's behaviour is almost identical to mine. I am now at the beginnings of a new relationship who offers my some stability but can I change. I have tried councilling and CBt and have had ECT. Can I control my behaviour in a relationship to make it work or will however I am treated trigger the same patterns of behaviour.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Susan Ivy replied 8 years ago.



Thank you for writing to JustAnswer with your question.


I am sorry to hear of your history. Bu it sounds as if you have gained much insight into your behavior. Often with this level of insight the individual can begin to take control of their impulses. But, for some individuals this can take nearly a lifetime, but it does sounds like you have come a long way for your age


I have worked with many survivors of abuse. Some are able to gain insight after much work and go on to have as "normal" as a relationship as anyone else. Then there are those that more rarely become perpertrators themselves. In this case it is more difficult to change their behavior and these individuals may have to be under some sort of restraint for the rest of their lives.


Are you are you saying that even after this ability to link your behavior to your prior experience and emotional trauma that you are still unable to control it? If this is the case, then I think you owe it to those who you come in contact to make them aware of your history and your past inability to control your behavior. The more honest and out in the open you can be about it, the less likely these feelings and impulses are going to be able to overtake you subconsciously and be expressed.


It may take more more for you in therapy and especially group therapy can be helpful for survivors of abuse. There is also a type of therapy known as EMDR ( that has been helpful for some with PTSD. This may be something that you want to look into.


If you have not tried medication, this too may be something that can be helpful. Certain antiseizure , antidepressant or antipsychotic medications can be helpful in controlling compulsive behaviors. You would want to see a Psychiatrist with expertise in those with sexual trauma and PTSD.


I am sorry that I can not give you a "yes or no" answer, but that is not possible. I hope the above information is helpful.


If you have questions or comments please feel free to reply.