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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 808
Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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How can a woman pretend to "love a child" for a year and a

Customer Question

How can a woman pretend to "love a child" for a year and a half until the wedding, and then every day there is nothing but hate? What are the long term effects of this?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 8 years ago.

If I understand what you are saying, a stepmother appeared to be fond of her stepchild until the wedding and then started treating the child badly. The long term effects are 50/50. It depends on how the other parent treats the child and if the child has a good relationship with its natural mother.

Of course, my first choice would be for the father and the step-mother to see a therapist to find out what is going on here. Does the step-mother resent the attention paid to the child by the father? Is she asking Dad to choose between her and the child? Does Dad intervene when the child is treated badly?

If these issues are brought out in the open and discussed with the child in an age appropriate manner there is no need to be concerned about long term effects. The best case scenario would be for this to be worked out to the benefit of everyone involved.