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Ask Lively Your Own Question
Lively, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 260
Experience:  Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families
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My dad passed away at 73 due to a rare disease rather

Customer Question

My dad passed away at 73 due to a rare disease rather suddenly 1 year ago. he lived in Germany I was in the US. Since his diagnosis and his death I have changed. I have stuggled in the past with self-doubt issues, not speaking up when things bother me right away, keeping to myself and shutting myself down. I grew up all over the world, moved a lot, had to make new friends every few the process I have turned into a tense, high-strung person that I never was before. I used to love to laugh and dance, run, ride horses, being spontaneous stresses me out; I still over to ride and do it a lot...even have gotten obsessive about it...I have a very supportive boyfriend, but am not sure I am happy there either...he is my best friend, I'm just not sure right now how much more there is...I love him, but just feel too much pressure in life right now. I am not happy or know the person I have become...
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.

I'm glad to hear that you've started seeing a psychologist and hope that this felt like a good fit for you.

It sounds like the issues that you're struggling with are many-layered and will likely take time to sort out, as you said. The process of therapy may feel long to you as it usually occurs once per week for several months when people present with the kinds of relationship issues that you are talking about. One of the things that can help you get the most out of the work is to be sure that you really like and feel understood by the psychologist that you have chosen to work with. If you don't feel this, I would encourage you to "shop around" until you find someone that you like better. Your insurance should cover multiple session regardless of the provider, so payment should not be a deterrent to finding the right person.

I would also encourage you to find a psychologist who works from a Relational or Psychodynamic perspective as these are therapy styles that focus on struggles with interpersonal relations as well as one's "self" relationship.

Best of luck to you.