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Lively, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 260
Experience:  Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families
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How can I make myself do things I need to do I dont excercise,

Resolved Question:

How can I make myself do things I need to do? I don't excercise, I eat too much, I go to bed late then don't get up until the afternoon and I find it difficult to hold down a job or even keep in touch with my frends. I know what I should do, but I can't make myself do them.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.


It is very common for people to feel that they know what would be good for them to do but just have a hard time following through. The issue is one of motivation and figuring out how to motivate yourself by figuring out WHAT motivates you. This sounds simple but is not easy.


I would encourage you to make a list of things in your life that you really enjoy- they can be big things or small things, but should be as concrete as possible (for example, you might really enjoy taking a bubble bath). Once you have a list of these things (at least 10 items is a good start) then you can try to use them as motivators to do things that you might have trouble doing otherwise. So again, as an example, you might set up a contingency in which you don't allow yourself to take a bubble bath until you've gone for a walk and gotten sufficient exercise.


If you have trouble with setting this kind of behavior plan for yourself, you might consider consulting a psychologist for further help and to have someone that you are accountable to (an external motivator). Good luck!

Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Thank you for your response.

When I had counselling, a similar strategy was suggested, but I could not find anything that motivated me enough. I find I have very little will power and low energy levels. Also, I am not strong willed enough to restrain from taking these 'treats' whether or not I have earned them.

I am at a very low point and am extremely unhappy being 'me'. The problems I have are not in themselves the problem. What makes me depressed is that they are all of my own making and I cannot get myself to sort it out.

You suggest consulting a psychologist. What sort of psychologist should I seek? There seem to be so many disciplines and types of therapy within psychology, I'm confused as to what I would need.

Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.

Finding a psychologist can be an overwhelming task. I would suggest trying out a few before you commit to anyone (your insurance should cover this)- it is very important that you like the person and feel that he/she really understands you and your issues. Given what you've said about the issues that you're struggling with, I don't think you would need any particular type of psychologist, but more just someone you feel you can work with.


It sounds as though you may have some issues with depression as well as your motivational struggles (and these may be connected), so you might just be up front about what you're dealing with when you get a therapist on the phone so that you and they can talk about what kind of therapy would work best.


Finding a therapist can be done through the phone book, online searches, and/or word of mouth referrals.

Lively and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you