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Carol Kryder LMFT
Carol Kryder LMFT, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  APA Board Certified, Diplomate,Substance Abuse Professional, 20 years family therapy experience
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Avoiding was answer. But what should I do to cope because he

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Avoiding was answer. But what should I do to cope because he is forgetting again; and I am losing another job opportunity. How to cope. Workplace manager does passive/aggressive technique of ,,forgetting'
Sent to Psychiatry Experts December 8 2008 at 8:46 PM

Workplace manager does passive/aggressive technique of ,,forgetting'' extremely important items. For example, told me about a mutually agreeable move in the company. Then, insists that I remind him that he needs to get a phone number to apply. After multiple, verbal and written requests. He does get the phone number. Of course, the opportunity is long gone. My fear is he is doing this again on a much higher move up in the company with paid training. He is relying on how could someone argue because he forgets. Coping strategies, please.
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Carol Kryder LMFT replied 8 years ago.
Thanks for the question. Workplace problems with passive-agressive managers are difficult, because as his subordinate, you do not have very much leverage. Because he plays the victim here "I just forgot, you can't blame me" it would be better for you if you could "plug the holes." For example, the next time something comes up that you want him to do, you should do your homework. Find out what the procedure is, get the phone number, and present it to him as a proposal with an implementation plan. Then you can ask him if he needs any other assistance or if there is anything you can do to make it easier for him. You can also send daily gentle reminders to him asking about the status. If it is possible, you may also tell the people on the other end , i.e. the ones making the job offer that you are interested and that Mr. Boss has all the necessary paperwork. They may be willing to ask him about it, also. That way there is accountability for your manager on both ends. This is a difficut situation for you, but it is manageable if you take an active role in shepherding this process to its conclusion. Best of luck to you, and let me know if you need any more assistance.
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