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Lively, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 260
Experience:  Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, 10 years experience working with individuals, couples, & families
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I am a fifty five yo male. Both my parents were alcoholics.

Resolved Question:

Hi, I am a fifty five yo male. Both my parents were alcoholics. I was a premature baby,ie: incubator for about a week (5.2lbs). I have just realized that I am a very serious codependent. I have joined groups and will continue to seek their help. For some reason I think "my problem" is different then theirs. My question is: should I seek a mental counsellor as well as attending these group meetings? I really just want to forgive myself and start living. Thanks Jeff
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.

It really sounds like you're working hard to change things in your life and this is a great first step. Because co-dependency issues are relationship based, working on them in a group format can be enormously helpful.

But individual therapy for these issues (as well as early family issues that may contribute) can be very helpful too. There will be parts of your experience that differ from others in the groups you attend and/or things that you want to sort out on your own that are best dealt with in individual therapy. I would suggest that you find a psychologist in your area to work with individually-- if it doesn't feel helpful you can always stop going but given how motivated you are to work on these things, what's the harm in trying every angle?

Best of luck to you.

Lively and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

I was wondering about the followup question? See above about relationship?

thanks, jeff

Oh- thanks for the answer

Expert:  Lively replied 8 years ago.
I think it would be hard for you to make any big decisions about your long-term relationship right now given how much you're trying to work on yourself and your relationship patterns in general. Why not agree to each work on your codependency issues for a certain amount of time and then re-examine your relationship to see whether or not it's working better?