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JR, M.A.
JR, M.A., Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 184
Experience:  I have a master's degree in clinical psychology and am currently finishing my doctoral degree.
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Sombody I know had a loveafair with his27 year old daughter

Customer Question

Sombody I know had a loveafair with his27 year old daughter after a 25year astraingment of coarse it ended in desaster SHE seems ok but at HE is pretty much on the edge of suecidal, I'm conserned for bothe of them, & without an understanding of the kind of emotional or physological aflictions that lead to what happened to them, I'm caught between who to blame and what to think of either of them, Sig. Frued must be sqirming in his grave! and if this isn't 'one for the books' I wouldn't know what is !, Is there by chance a name to put on what happened ? All I've been able to find is something to do with Edifus or something, and since I have to be discreet for bothe their sakes, I'm at a loss as to what can be said or done for either of them that may somehow salvage their relationship to each other, From the begining of their reunion they were so happy to be in each others lives & now it's all so sad,is what happened too sick for them to be saved? Can they ever be ok again? HELP!?!!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
Optional Information:
Age: 52; Male, Illinois
Already Tried:
just looking on line for presidents,anything simular, and speaking to a suecide prevntion counlilor on the phone ,,,
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 8 years ago.

Well, to start off, what you found was called the Oedipus complex. In females, it is called the Electra complex. That is, when a young child has a desire to kill the same sex parent and unite with the opposite sex parent. Typically, this complex is resolved in childhood, with the child realizing that they cannot kill the same sex parent, and instead decide to identify with the same sex parent. That is why you see young boys wanting to be like their father and young girls wanting to be like their mom. However, sometimes the Electra complex is not resolved and it results in disturbed adult sexual relationships. Now, it is very strange for an adult woman to engage in this type of relationship on her own free will. She has blurred the boundaries of sex and intimacy and it resulted in this whole mess. Additionally, the father has engaged in extremely bizarre behavior and needs to be kept away from his daughter. In my professional opinion, these two do not need to have any contact with each other. This type of thing cannot be fixed or repaired in any easy way. The daughter is going to need some pretty serious therapy to work through this blending of sexuality and intimacy. She will likely have disturbed sexual functioning for quite some time after this, if she ever gets back to normal. As far as the suicidal ideation is concerned, it is not surprising given what he did. If the father is suicidal, you might consider bringing him to the hospital to get a pscyh evaluation. If he refuses and you truly believe he is suicidal, you should call the police and have them pick him up and bring him to the hospital. This is a very serious situation and I would recommend getting him into treatment asap.

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Customer: replied 8 years ago.
My friend will be very dificult if not impossible to mannage into treatment,, as for his daughter,same thing, she has moved to on to another relationship, and seems to have some anger issues feeling that she had been ' manipulated ' etc, wishes to "just forget that the whole thing ever happened " ,, Since I'm the only person who is aware of whats happened and wish not to betray a confidance, I'm afraid of what may happpen if I do or don't for both of their sakes,,and as much, for the sake of their family,,, my consern at this time is witch of the two needs the most help, and If I should have to choose , witch of the two desirves more or less the benifit of the doubt ,,,,
Expert:  JR, M.A. replied 8 years ago.

I think they both need some therapy. However, if one of them is suicidal, they need to get some help immediately. Tact goes out the window when someone is suicidal. If the father refuses to get help, you might consider calling the police to get him into the hospital. That is, of course, if you believe he is a danger to himself. Both of them need treatment, but if they are unwilling, you can only get them in if they are an imminent danger to themselves.

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