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swelling of the head of the penis is not enough to call it herpes.
herpes causes painful sores and ulcers on your genitals.
the lap dance would not have put you at risks for herpes.
you can always see a doctor and get blood tests for herpes antibodies in your system to know for sure if you have it.
let me know if you have questions.
no, you can't get herpes that way.
and you had clothing on so there is no skin contact.
you don't have to worry about herpes.