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This is Dr. David
I am a radiation oncology doctor
I am sorry you have had problems with your anal muscles.
if using a enema for 3 seconds helps you have a bowel movement, that is fine to use
you should use kegel exercises over time to help strengthen your anal sphincter muscles
have you done kegel exercises before?
you should also ask your doctors for an MRI scan of the pelvis and sacrum to check your sacral nerves and sacral plexus to see if the nerves there are working properly.
if the nerves there are damaged, this can cause weakness of your anal sphincter muscle.
let me know if you have questions.