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Dr. Vikas
Dr. Vikas, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 2253
Experience:  MBBS; MD
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Dear Doctor, I am 64 years old and have not had sex for 10

Customer Question

Dear Doctor, I am 64 years old and have not had sex for 10 years. I have been afraid to have sex and I have a bad mental block about sex. I was raped and hurt many times having sex. Now even when I really want it, my partner is being very patient, he is having great difficulty going in. He says he is only going in about an inch and I so tight and afraid it will hurt. Please tell me what to do? Can a hypnosist help? I really want to please my partner.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Medical
Expert:  TheSurgeon replied 7 years ago.
If you are very tight, you can use more foreplay or toys to relax the vaginal wall. Also try different positions. The woman on top will allow you to control the depth and rtae more easily. It sounds like he has a alot of guilt also. You could try a few sessions of couple's counseling or even a sex therapist. I don't think hypnosis will benefit anyone. How long has it been since your partner has had sex with someone else? Maybe his anxiety comes from other sources as well?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.
Hello, thank you for your reply, we are in Mexico and cannot speak Spanish, so do not think we can follow your recomendations. I will ask around if any one who speaks english can help us. thank you, Gaye
Expert:  TheSurgeon replied 7 years ago.

Yes sorry I was not helpful. There seems to be something missing to this story that I tried to ask further about but I never got a response from you before going offline. I understand that you had some issues with rape/assult that occured 10 years ago, but from what you tell me it really isn't a problem directly affecting you mentally/psychologically, but in fact it's your partner who "stops" because he is afraid.


I'll opt out. Good luck with getting another answer that will cater to your Spanish needs (which in itself makes no sense to me).

Expert:  Dr. Vikas replied 7 years ago.

Hello Mam,

Vaginismus is an involuntary muscle constriction of the vagina that interferes with penile insertion and intercourse and a sexual trauma such as rape, sexual abuse could cause vaginismus. In my view it needs to be ruled out in your case.

You can find more information in the link given below about the disease and the treatment options available.


I hope it helps.


Please feel free to ask if you need clarification/more information. Kindly click the GREEN ACCEPT BUTTON if you are satisfied with the answer. POSITIVE FEEDBACK and BONUS are warmly appreciated.
Dr. Vikas, Doctor
Category: Medical
Satisfied Customers: 2253
Experience: MBBS; MD
Dr. Vikas and 2 other Medical Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Hello, thank you so much for all of this information, I have now learned that I have so many different problems.



doctor had to sew me up after my first child ripped out of me,


being hurt during sex and not saying anything,

never ever had any estrogen,

always wash myself when bathing


Thank you I will talk to a doctor and see if we can sort out all of my problems? Now I have a better understanding, I was too shy to ever tell any one.

Sincerely, XXXXX XXXXX

Expert:  Dr. Vikas replied 7 years ago.

You are most welcome Gaye. Thanks for coming to JA.

I wish you a very early and speedy recovery.