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My ex is asking for a modify order in child custody. reason…

Hello my ex is...

Hello my ex is asking for a modify order in child custody. reason being as he said i can no longer care for our kids do to me having to work nights and leaving them home alone one night a week when our kids are with me

Lawyer's Assistant: What steps has your ex taken? Has he filed any papers in family court?

Yes we have mediation on 3/22

Lawyer's Assistant: Family law varies by state. What state is he in?

California

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

Yes out oldest child is 15 and the youngest is 7 our

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Answered in 5 minutes by:
3/20/2018
Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 10,251
Experience: Licensed to practice before state and federal court
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Hello! I am a licensed attorney, admitted to practice in state and federal court. I have a nearly 100% satisfaction rating (click here for more info) so all that means is that you can count on me to help today. Because I want to provide you with the most accurate answer possible, do you mind if I take a moment to review your question?

Please keep in mind that our conversation does not include an attorney-client relationship and this is for general information purposes only.

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Thanks so much for your patience. Could you help me understand a bit more clearly what specific questions you had for me regarding this?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
my question is can he (father) get our kids more time because I work a night job?

Thanks for clarifying!

The answer to your question is that the court will probably not change the current order unless they can show that it's harming the children in some way. For example, if they are without food or any reasonable supervisions in the nighttime hours, the court may request a change. But this depends on the age of the children and how long they're alone, if they're alone at all.

It is critical to understand that the courts are bound to look at what is in the best interests of the child above all else. This means they will look into who and how the child’s health, education, welfare, and safety are best going to be served. Sometimes, this can be inconvenient for one parent, but because the kids cannot protect themselves, the court takes it upon itself to protect them. The bright side is that if you understand this in advance, then you will have an edge when you are dealing with the other side because you’ll be seeing this process through the court’s eyes.

So, my prediction is no, they won't change it.

What other questions did you have for me today that I can help you out with:-)?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Okay I kinda though that but wasn't sure. And yes our kids(daughter 15yrs and son 7 yrs) are okay the one night that they are home alone, but would like to know if it makes a difference that the father lives with his parents which I know for a fact that his mother is the one caring for our kids on his time which is 50%?

If his parents are caring for the kids, it might make a difference, but it is probable that the court will believe that there is not enough evidence here to prove that changing the order is necessary if the kids are otherwise being supervised. They may ask your 15 year old what she thinks about the situation, but usually kids at that age can be left alone, particularly if they have everything they need.

Did you have any other questions for me today that I could help you with?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
May I ask for your opinion on what to ask in mediation?
or your advice on the order

Sure, but it depends on what you want. Is there anything specifically you'd like to see differently? For example, do you want to ensure that it is him and not his mother caring for the children?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
how to get him for harassing me?
Customer reply replied 1 month ago
From

I see. If you have an interest in ensuring he is watching the kids, I think that asking that you be provided some reasonable proof that he is not shirking his responsibilities is good. For example, perhaps you could request that they actually go do something when the kids are with him like go to the park, a baseball game, or even just go fishing. Even if he isn't spending 100% of his time, you could try to find ways to ensure that they spend quality time with their dad. Coming up with some realistic solutions would be helpful because it'll help you stay in control without having to get into a huge fight.

As far as him harassing you, unless the harassment is interfering with your custody of the children or unless it is violent in nature, then there isn't much you can do other than just ignore whatever issues he has. If he crosses over the line, then you can ask a judge to step in and make changes to the order.

What other questions did you have for me today that I can help you out with:-)?

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Okay that sounds good. I have had our kids tell me mean times that they spend most of their time with grandma. would that help at all

That would definitely help. Be sure that you talk to your 15-year-old because the court is likely to take their opinion into consideration since they are over 14.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
can i ask for sole custody if i can prove that his mother cares for our kids.

Absolutely, but it has to be in the best interests of the children.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
how can i bring that up in mediation

You'd have to try to connect all of the reasons why sole custody would be good for the kids and why shared custody would be bad for the kids. I would come up with at least 4-5 good reasons and in mediation you could bring up the fact that if he cares about the kids and if he really just wants to do his own thing, giving you full custody would make sense.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
i understand...Oh there is one more thing.. Our 15 year old had told me that her grandma had made a commit that she(grandma) should take them (kids) from their dad. can she do that?

No. Grandparents are often mistaken in thinking they have rights to the kids. Only you and the dad have rights to the kids.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Okay thats good to hear. so would it be helpful if i can get her to go to court to say she cares for our kids?

You bet. That would be very helpful and will support your case.

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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Thank You for your time and advice. I appreciate your help.

The pleasure is all mine! Unless you have additional questions, there’s just a few other things I’d like you to know before we wrap up this conversation:

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Legal Eagle
Legal Eagle, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 10,251
Experience: Licensed to practice before state and federal court
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Customer reply replied 1 month ago
Already done. Excellent ***** just submit it thanks again.

Thank you so much!!

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