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I'm a 70 year old woman, who has been married for 39 years…

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I'm a 70 year...

I'm a 70 year old woman, who has been married for 39 years to a narcissist. He is also retired. Our income is his pension from the Portland Fire Bureau and my small social security. It totals around $7,000 a month. I have no money other than the social security. I need to get out of this relationship and spend the rest of the life I have happy. He has systematically gotten rid of all our friends, and now is working on alienating us from relatives. We have a daughter who is 34. She was in therapy for 5 years trying to undo the damage he did to her, all through her grade school and high school years.

Lawyer's Assistant: Because employment law varies from place to place, can you tell me what state this is in?

Oregon

Lawyer's Assistant: Has anything been filed or reported?

No

Lawyer's Assistant: Anything else you want the lawyer to know before I connect you?

I don't know. I'm just completely exhausted from the constant conflict.

Submitted: 5 months ago.Category: Legal
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Answered in 1 minute by:
12/25/2017
Lawyer: Ray, Lawyer replied 5 months ago
Ray
Ray, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 47,107
Experience: 30 years in civil, probate, real estate, elder law
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Hi and welcome to JA. Ray here to help you today.Please bear with me a few moments while I review your question and respond.

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Lawyer: Ray, Lawyer replied 5 months ago

You can file for divorce yourself pro se.He would likely have to pay you spousal support long term here.You are entitled to fair proeprty division as well.

Here are the forms to file for divorce yourself.

http://www.courts.oregon.gov/programs/family/forms/Pages/divorce.aspx

Sorry you are having to deal with this.Thanks for the chance to help tonight.

If you can positive rate 5 stars it is much appreciated.

I wish you a Happy Holiday and luck moving on here.

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Lawyer: Ray, Lawyer replied 5 months ago

If you or your spouse have lived in Oregon for six months or longer, you need to do three things to start your divorce:
You must file several documents, including a petition for dissolution of marriage, with the circuit court clerk’s office at the local county courthouse. The petition tells the court and your spouse what you are asking for in the divorce.

You must have the petition and any other required documents officially delivered to (“served on”) your spouse. This lets your spouse know that a divorce action has been started and what you are asking for.

You must pay or be excused from paying the fees that are charged for filing a divorce petition. There might also be costs for having your spouse served.

If a lawyer is handling your divorce, he or she will have the divorce papers served on your spouse. If you are using “do-it-yourself” forms, the instructions will tell you what you need to do. Your spouse can agree to sign papers that say he or she has been served. Otherwise, your spouse must be served by either the sheriff, process server, or another adult (not you or your children).

The filing fee for each party in a divorce is $273, as of April 2016. The cost to serve your spouse usually starts at $35 and increases depending on the company you use and how difficult it is for them to find your spouse. There may be other filing fees depending on your specific circumstances. If you cannot afford to pay the costs and fees, you can ask the judge to waive the fees or defer them to a later date. You will need to fill out court papers that show your income is low, and possibly that your expenses are more than your income.

If you receive certain public assistance benefits, or if child support has already been set, the Division of Child Support (DCS) may have to be served with the divorce petition. If you do not have a lawyer, or if the divorce forms you are using do not have instructions about this, you can call DCS to find out how to serve them with the papers.

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