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I am sorry to read about your son's difficulties.
Does a wife w/POA have sole right to discharge a spouse (46 yrs. old; early stages of ALS; no obviously physical ramifications except speech loss; cognition slow and deliberate, but otherwise, "normal". He is very unhappy and increasingly depressed, i.e., his dining partner is 103 years old. He can not leave his room to go anyway without being escorted
Response: No. POA should not be confused with Guardianship/Conservatorship. POA means that the person with the POA, the Attorney-in-fact can act on behalf of the Principal. This does not mean that the Principal cannot act on his own behalf. If the Principal can communicate his wishes, his wishes must override the wife's POA because the Court has not declared him incompetent yet there is no Guardianship/Conservatorship in place. So, he can still speak for himself. Granting someone a POA, does not mean that you have lost your rights to act on your own behalf.