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I'm Lucy, and I'd be happy to answer your questions today. I'm sorry to hear that this happened.
Your lawyer violated the rules of professional conduct. A lawyer MAY NOT represent a new client against a former client in the same proceeding without the former client's written consent. You can file a complaint with the state.
As far as the ruling goes, it's possible to file a Motion for Reconsideration. It would help significantly to hire a lawyer, because this is a complicated situation.
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It should be very easy to prove that the same lawyer who represented you in 1997 is representing your wife now. All you have to do is get a copy of any document filed on your behalf and any document he filed for her. The courthouse retains those records.
You can file a bar complaint without a lawyer.
It is also possible to file a Motion for Relief from Judgment without a lawyer. It's more complicated, but possible. If you don't have access to a law library, it might help to advertise online for a law student who can do the research for you.
Do you have any other questions about this?