I'm in a complicated situation, but will try to give the most pertinent facts initially.
The husband of a woman whom I consider a good friend found out about 16 months ago that his SSN had been mixed up with that of a person who died. So as far as SSA is concerned he's dead, despite the fact that he's been to SSA offices on many occasions trying to prove he is in fact alive and well. SSA has of course been of no help in resolving this problem, and as a result he's lost access to his retirement account/pension/all other funds, and they lost their house. He had been retired from the military, but has gone back to work doing consulting & trying to find creative ways to get paid.
He asked 3-4 months ago to borrow a large sum of money from me ($27K initially, then another $13K a few days later). He dropped some comments about an IRS bill and something else coming due soon, but offered no real specifics, other than to say they were about to be evicted from where we're living, that he was "in a desperate situation", that he really needed my help, and that he could repay me with some moneies he had coming in by the end of this year. I explained that to loan
him that money I'd have to withdraw it from my IRA (and since I live on SSDI and don't work, that money cannot be placed back into the IRA). He told me I could instead set up a (some kind of) Trust that would actually be better than an IRA, and that he would help me do that. (He claims to have had some very high level experience with at least the regulatory side of banking in a past job.) When I asked about documentation of our agreement, he said he'd be glad to sign an Unsecured Promissory Note. Since I trust her implicitly and care for her dearly, and she has a number of medical issues, I panicked at the thought of her being homeless, and withdrew $27K the next day and gave it to him. He asked that I not tell her about our arrangement, saying she doesn't want him to bother her with details of how he's paying their bills, and becomes very upset if he does.
I started coming to my senses soon after that, and began having some concerns. I refused to sign the Promissory Note he presented me a few days later because it was not sufficiently detailed, and he had made it out to reflect a one year loan term. I'll save other details for later, but my concerns have grown over time, and I no longer trust this man as I once did. I have subsequently told him I cannot lend him the other $13K he initially requested until I get another opinion, and that clearly upset him. I am not well myself, and have already let this situation go too long without clarification; but it's clear I need to get moving on this matter ASAP. My questions are these: 1) Is an Unsecured Promissory Note the best option for documenting our agreement? I'm thinking it is not, but I don't know what other options I have. 2) Should I seek the counsel of a professional (attorney, CPA) before I go any further? If an attorney, what legal area do I need? 3) Since the first date by which he told me he could repay/start repaying me has passed, should I email him and ask when I can expect payment, or should I wait until I've spoken to a professional? I don't want to make him feel threatened or offended, possibly giving him a reason to get angry, NOT start paying, etc. 4) Are there other things I need to know that I'm not asking?
Thanks in advance,