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Sam, Attorney at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 27011
Experience:  More than 20 years of experience practicing law.
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I married my husband just over 5 years ago. It was bad

Customer Question

I married my husband just over 5 years ago. It was bad timing barely 6 days after my mom died. 2010 was a tough year, Rob and I both had lost our jobs, his daughter was a runaway and came home pregnant.  I Not only lost my mom but also my aunt, my Cousin, my dog and my cat.  My sister and I took nine months to clean out  our childhood home of 40 years.
Rob had been amazing the 2 years after Mom was diagnoses with cancer. He was suportive and flexible, filling in the gaps for me with my youngest son, and for my mom and sisters in the absence of a man in the house.  I would have never imagined a person could put on such a good show for that long.
Rob wasn't the ideal suitor but for those two years he won us all over with his charm, I believed he was truely growing.
All hell broke lose the day we returned from our honeymoon.  He was judgemental, cruel and inflexible. I became a walking zombie, not able to sleep in the same room with him.  I am a light sleeper, but always looking for a win/win. Rob was used to falling asleep with the TV on. He needed the fan and never turned off lights.  After several weeks I finally put a cot up in the living room where I could retreat after he fell asleep. I was miserable.
Rob would bark at me incesantly for hours at a time until I finally moved out. It took me awhile to figure out his agenda, I can be hoplessly hopeful about relationships.
Rob had told me several times about his friends Jon and Carol. Jon's family had given them a house when they got married and tho Jon was a looser and druggie, Carol stayed by him. After they started a family, Carol's parents died and left them a huge inheritance. As Rob tells it, 'Jon has never had to work a full day in his life'.  Aparently this is the way Rob believed was "the way of things" and I didn't measure up. I belive in marriage and 'to death do us part', but im no fool. I never took his name and although I did help him to buy his truck and tried to  help him to save his house, there was no way I was going to sign over everything to a bully.
Maybe not taking his name had broken him.  It certainly wasn't my first intentions.  There was one day after a long fight that I devised a compromise; I offered to take his name and combine our incomes in exchange for him to stop yelling and us to find a better way to communicate.  He refused saying that 'all couples argue' suggesting I'm weak because I dont know how to have a disagreement.  I say a man who can't have a disagreement without verbal abuse is weak.
I moved out June 19, 2012 barely 2 years after our wedding.  I filed legal seperation before Christmas that year. For the next 3 years we dated in an effort to work out our differences, but nothing changed.  Sex was Rob's priority.  In Feb this year I told him we needed to be done. He suggested marriage counseling, but by our third session I believe he had already found a girlfriend.
Before I filed in 2012, I sought legal counsel to learn if my inheritance was safe. It was barely anything, but enough for a down payment on a house. In July 2013 I purchased a home.
I had been told about the Summary Disolution and wonder if that might be an avenue for me since Rob and I dont owe or own anything together.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Sam replied 1 year ago.


This is Samuel and I will discuss this and provide you information in this regard.

I am sorry to hear of this situation you are enduring. Yes, it appears you are eligible for the Summary Dissolution. The criteria for the Summary Dissolution is you

1 Have been married for less than 5 years (from the date you got married to the date you separated);

2 Have no children together born or adopted before or during the marriage (and you are not expecting a new child now);

3 Do not own any part of land or buildings;

4 Do not rent any land or buildings (except for where you now live, as long as you do not have a 1-year lease or option to buy);

5 Do not owe more than $6,000 for debts acquired since the date you got married;

6 Neither of you have more than $41,000 worth of separate property assets - this does not count any vehicles you might own separately or jointly.

I suggest if you meet the above criteria you should consider that recourse.

Expert:  Sam replied 1 year ago.

You can Click onto this LINK for more information from the CA courts on the Summary dissolution.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you.
Im assuming #4 only applies to IF we were still living together. AND
My biggest concern is #6 since I own a home (worth more than $41, 000) but purchased after filing legal seperation.
Expert:  Sam replied 1 year ago.

Thank you

If you have more than $41,000 in assets then you cannot file for the Summary Dissolution. And number 4 would apply if you are on a lease together regardless if you are living apart. But that is neither here nor there with your asset situation. I suggest you will need to file for the Divorce. If he is in agreement, you can file for a no fault uncontested divorce.

Expert:  Sam replied 1 year ago.

Also keep in mind that any assets acquired during the marriage are considered to be marital. In that regard, the house you purchased, even after your separation would be marital unless you had signed a Separation Agreement at the time you left.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I dont think I understand. I filed legal seperation after moving out and before purchasing the house. Can I therefore use the Summary dissolution, or if I file for irreconsilable differences do I need to disclose the house?