I'm Doug, and I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. My goal is to provide you with excellent service today. In order to give you a clear and concise answer, I will need some additional information about the circumstances, please.
1. Have either of you filed for a legal separation?
2. What assets do you presently have?
3. What is your present annual income?
Your issue is quite complex and there is no simple straightforward answer to your dilemma. Part of the issue is federal law and the other is Ohio state marital law. After all, estranged or not, you are still legally married. My explanation of the issues and laws is lengthy and complex and would best be provided in a phone conversation.
This seems like a very crucial matter for you, and your questions and issues suggest that an in-depth conversation might better suit your needs. If you are interested, I can offer you a phone conference as opposed to continuing in this question and answer thread. I will make that offer to you after I get this posted to your question thread. All you need do is accept the offer if you would like me to call. Let me know if you don't want a call and I can continue here.
Thanks in advance,