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In order for someone to be guilty of defamation, you must prove that they made an untrue statement about you to other people (this can be in writing or verbally), and that it caused some damage to your reputation. Additionally, to bring suit, you need to prove some amount of damages, which usually means some loss business, contracts you didn't get because of the false rumors about you, etc. You can send a cease and desist letter (which you can find here) to her, and it may do some good, but you have to be willing to follow through with your threats to make the letter meaningful. Simply sending the letter with no intention to follow through may embolden her.
But, nevertheless, a letter is a good place to start. It shows that you are taking this seriously.
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