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The person administering the estate has to provide full disclosure of the estate to all heirs, which is likely the reason for this meeting. Without a will, the three of you would be sharing his estate in equal parts, so at the meeting the attorney should be providing you with an accounting of the estate so that you would know what is going on and how much is in the estate along with the debts of the estate that have to be paid and what property would have to be sold or distributed to the heirs.
You would be required to attend the meeting for the attorney chosen to represent the estate to explain the process he will go through and to determine if there are preferences about an administrator and to discuss the terms of the estate so all heirs are informed about the estate.
As far as the process going correctly, you would be entitled to copies of everything filed in the probate, which you can get through the clerk of the probate court if the attorney does not send them to you. Also, you are free to have your own attorney engaged to monitor the probate process, since you seem to be removed from the process and have a possible distrust of the other heirs and possibly the administrator of the estate.
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