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Sam, Attorney at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 27011
Experience:  More than 20 years of experience practicing law.
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My husband goes to his criends house with our 13 yr old son

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My husband goes to his criend's house with our 13 yr old son on a regular basis. While there my husbands drinks alcohol to excess. Then he drives home. I have tried to call sheriff to get him caught driving drunk, but the timing is just not there. I am never positive when he will leave their home. 80% of time our son rides with him, the other times he calls me and I pick him up. Last night was bad, both were in the car and he passed out within 10 minutes of returning home. What are my legal choices? I am scared he is going to kill himself, our son or someone else.

My name is XXXXX XXXXX I look forward to discussing this and forwarding information to you in this regard

So you are not divorced - correct?

And you all live in the same home?

Have you told your husband that you will not allow your son to go because of his drinking and driving?
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
We are married, living in same home. As of 8/24/13 we have agreed to divorce. Have had 1 appt with mediator, he said there was not enough income for two households and that I needed to find a job making 30k or more before we could proceed. (For last 7 yrs I have worked part time, 25 hrs wk, in Guilford county school system so that I could have similar hrs as our son. Husband travels extensively.
I have told Ted that Kirk cannot go or that I will drive him over. (Kirk is friends with teds drinking g buddy's son). Ted says I have no right. Kirk (our son) says "mom, I'll just go. If it gets bad I will call". Unfortuneately, Ted is very good at giving Kirk guilt trips, so Kirk tends to flow with whatever in order to avoid guilt or arguments

You are correct that is a dangerous situation. And I suggest if you cannot come to terms with the husband, you have a right to make your son stay at home. Of course, as you know, that will only cause problems with the Father.

If possible, I suggest you will have to have your son call you when leaving the friends house for you to pick him up - and then you also can time the call to the police that he is drinking and driving. Additionally, if you know that he is on his way home, you can call the police and have them be waiting for him when he pulls up. They can charge the DWI even if he is sitting in the driveway with the keys and does not actually have to be driving.

It is unfortunate for your son because it sounds as if the Father is going to do what he wants regardless.

Absent a legal separation where you get full temporary custody he has just as much right to take your son with him

I hope that this information is helpful. If you need further information, please just send me a reply asking for clarification. After that, I hope you will enter a positive rating so that I will be credited for assisting you. Thanks again for using this service. Your business is appreciated.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Just to verify, in the state of NC, I can call the police and have them waiting here for when Ted arrives home. And he can legally be arrested for drinking and driving? I ask because when talking to both city & county police, neither offered this option. I want to make sure before going forward, this sounds like my most viable option


Yes. I suggest that is correct. A person does not have to literally be driving the highway. They only need to have to be in a vehicle. That is called constructive possession meaning they have the means to drive and also he had to be driving to get back to the driveway or the home.

I don't know why the police did not discuss this with you. Except I find that many times they are just lazy.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
That would explain it. One more, I am really concerned about the child endangerment part of this. What is the legal answer for that in this situation? I love my son and I am really scared, I cried for hours last night


Yes, well you are correct. There is a child endangerment charge that can also be place against him

And here is that law


(a) Any parent of a child less than 16 years of age, or any other person providing care to or supervision of such child, who inflicts physical injury, or who allows physical injury to be inflicted, or who creates or allows to be created a substantial risk of physical injury, upon or to such child by other than accidental means is guilty of the Class A1 misdemeanor of child abuse.

(b) The Class A1 misdemeanor of child abuse is an offense additional to other civil and criminal provisions and is not intended to repeal or preclude any other sanctions or remedies.

(c) A parent who abandons an infant less than seven days of age pursuant to G.S. 14-322.3 shall not be prosecuted under this section for any acts or omissions related to the care of that infant.

You may want to show the Father that law. Also, if the police tell you they can't do anything again, I suggest you directly contact the Victim Coordinator in your District Attorney's office and tell them that you are concerned, you have reported this and you want the police to do something because you are concerned for your child.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX been the most helpful person I have talked to about this in the past 2 yrs. I greatly appreciate your time and your precise answers. Have a great day. Wish me luck.

You're welcome

Good luck with everything.
Sam and 2 other Legal Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Hey Sam, yes; I did give you a good rating. And yes I do have another
question. I personally make approx 4k a year (I pay 5.5k in ins premiums).
So, can I go get state assistance now that my husband and I are separated?


Yes, you should be able to get state assistance, if you are making below poverty level at 4K a year.

I need to run out for a bit. But will be back and can answer any further questions you have in this regard. Just post them here.

Thank you