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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 41221
Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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Dimitry. Thanks for the info about my question where my ex

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Dimitry. Thanks for the info about my question where my ex wanted to try to get out of paying child support after moving out of state. I hope to not have to persue it in court, so I thought I'd try this shot across her bow. Can you look at this email I composed and see if I'm making any mistakes in sending this to her? Here is the letter:

I received the legal docs from your attorney. Although it is true that I didn't give our son gas money this last summer, that is because he would not get a job and work this last summer as he should have to save money for college. I had told him that if he didn't get a job (and he said he applied, but he didn't try very hard and refused to apply at a couple of Russian establishments that I told him) that he would not have driving privileges for the summer, although I allowed him to have some for church and necessary things. As far as giving money through the summer for food and such, I told the kids I'd send an amount and if they needed more to let me know. It was usually sufficient and when they needed more, for dog food and such, it was sent. As far as not sending money to him while in college, this is the same as last summer, he needs to find a job. If I send him money for even small things, he wont look. Our son needs to get working and learn a stronger work ethic and if we were still married you would be in complete agreement with this.

I have paid 100% of his high school expenses since the divorce, 100% of his college needs including a trip to visit the college, 100% of his expenses to go to college and set him up there, I co-signed for his student loan this year and will be making payments on it while he is in school this year, I am maintaining a 3 bedroom (2 bedroom with a room convertible to a third bedroom) house for him to come home to, I paid for his car insurance (and it's alot for a teenage boy), paid for car maintenance, gas when he was in school, of course food and "Walmart" needs, and more. Basically the expenses were more than the $500 child support. While in school I continue to maintain the house so he will have a place to come home to, I will be paying his flights back and forth on vacations, he and our daughter are still on the car insurance so they can borrow a car if needed while in college (although it's not nearly as much as when he was in the house), I pay both their cell phone bills, I am paying for our daughtersfirst semester school loan and all of this will continue well past the child support termination time this next year.

I understand that you are having a hard time finding a job. That is indeed most unfortunate and had you informed me I would have told you that I will allow you to hold off for a bit on the support but please pay the other bills. I understand from the legal documents that you are trying to have child support eliminated. If you want to pursue this course of action, that is your right. But if you do, I will also pursue my rights. I have our son100% of the time yet I only asked for $500 for support. This is below what I should have gotten for 100% custody. I will petition the courts for the full 100% from here on out and petition them for retroactive amounts of 100% as well, pursuant to Family Code 4076 c, which states that if the obligor intentionally lowers their income the court can, "order the immediate payment of the full formula
amount of child support and the difference in the amount of support
that would have been due without the phasein and the amount of
support due with the phasein, in addition to any other penalties
provided for by law."
In addition I will seek full court and legal costs to do this.

You quit your good-paying job in California and moved out of state without a guaranteed job. And the job you thought you'd get was at a small private school that typically doesn't pay very well. Your reason in court for not taking the V.P. job at my school was that it didn't pay well, and you were hoping for a teaching job in a private school? Not only would you have called someone who did this foolish, but the courts will also not look favorably on it. I really don't want to fight you on this. The settlement was done last year, everyone agreed to it. You owe child support for August 2013 through January 2014. Although money for me is very tight right now due to the expenses of setting Jeremiah up in college, I can accept the child support payments starting up again in October and paid through March if that will give you some relief. But if you still want to pursue your original plan, I will contact my attorney again and we can go to court, but you will be paying much more than 6 months of child support.

I will wait 5 days to hear from you. If you do not respond in 5 days from today, I will begin the process and if along the line you want to stop the process, the incurred legal fees will be included in any settlement.

I look forward to hearing from you soon,

Thank you for your question. It would be my pleasure to assist you. I will be going line by line so I will post my thoughts based on what I see.

1. There is no reason to justify yourself or your expenses. I see that as opening the email from the defensive which is setting the wrong tone.

2. Beyond that the letter is quite good You may want to put your justification for withholding as a second paragraph and add a first paragraph summarizing what the email would be about. While I would usually suggest that you start with the more formal response, the way your email 'flows' together is very well done.

3. About the only thing I would suggest is soften the language very slightly from "will be paying" to "may be paying"--since the courts are not guaranteed, it is both more accurate and appears to be less of a direct threat.

Good letter otherwise, and one that if she sends to her attorney, she would end up taking seriously.

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